In the words of The Little River Band (now that is showing my age) ... "Happy anniversary baby, got you on my mind".
Today is our 11th wedding anniversary. Yep. 11 years of wedded, um, bliss. 11 whole years. That is 132 months, 572 weeks, 4015 days (give or take a couple of leap years), about 16,060 visits to the toilet, 32,120 glasses of water (if you drink the suggested 8 a day) AND probably about 200 or so hangovers (of varying degrees of severity).
Happy anniversary. As I sit here typing with my "I had a bottle of champagne last night to celebrate" headache, I ponder the whole concept of wedded bliss. What absolute bullshit. Whoever first coined the phrase "wedded bliss" must have only been married a week. Sure, there are moments of bliss, quite a few actually. But it is not blissFUL. Marriage isn't full of bliss. Marriage is downright bloody hard work - all the give and take, ups and downs, swings and round-abouts, love and war, sweet and sour, happy and sad. So many times when the polar opposites are in tug of war to create anything but bliss. But I guess given we are still together after 11 years means that something underneath it all is gluing it all together. That must be love.
Last night as I sipped on my bubbles I watched "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days". It occurred to me that there were correlations between how to lose a guy in 10 days, and how to keep a guy for 11 years! It's the same formula! Now, I have to tell you, that I did fall asleep before the end of the movie so I don't know how it all finished up, but the first half was definitely the recipe we use here.
The movie started with the classic lines: HIM "Oh you're already falling in love with me" (men are so cocky) and HER "Oh I'm gonna make you wish you were dead" (women are so cunning). They should put them in the marriage vows! One strokes his ego, the other strokes hers. Seriously ...
There were episodes of her sending him on chores in the middle of a basketball game (and not being satisfied with the service); phone calls to him at work interrupting major meetings; gate-crashing his poker nights; making him think he was going to a basketball game only to take him to a Celine Dion concert; and him biting his tongue and doing it all any way because of the promised land at the other end. It sounds like the woman was a bitch (and in some ways she was) but as much as we torture our men to earn their right to the promised land we all know they are only doing it for what they can get out of it. It's not about us at all. Well, maybe a tiny bit? Nah, that's bullshit. It's still about them. So that is our come-uppence! After being everything to everyone else most of the time we get to act like princesses occasionally with a trusty servant to rub our metaphorical feet and feed us proverbial grapes. So you have to put out occasionally. Think of the alternative?!
Forget how to lose a guy in 10 days - this is how you keep a guy for 11 years!
Happy Anniversary Husband. Despite the give and take, ups and downs, love and war ... or maybe because of it (?) ... I love you!
Oh, the rest of that song went: "I'm so happy for you baby, now that you've found somebody new, I see it in your eyes, Lord it's no surprise, what he can do for you". So really it is a break up song. Shit. I better keep my eye on that ....