Saturday, November 14, 2009

Day 41

I just got a new mobile phone. I am not much into the latest and greatest. I enjoy a bit of technological growth every now and then, but instant gratification based on fad is not my thing. We bought our first plasma TV this year, and that was under duress. You see our 16 year old tele popped some sort of valve and turned the world green. So most of our technological advances are somewhat forced. MOST of them. My robotic vacuum is another story …

Back to the phone. So as the sales rep was steering me towards the iPhone I was stepping backwards and sidewards to a less “popular” version. A phone is after all just a phone …isn’t it? Do I really have to give into the iPhone phenomenon and become part the craze that is sweeping generation Y? I’d prefer not to. I don’t want my kids to be watching me get on board these pop wagons because that’s when you get into the whole upgrade cycle and need for instant gratification. Nope. I am not having an iPhone based purely on principle! (Gosh, I am sounding like my father.)

I wouldn’t have changed phones at all had it been for the fact my previous phone stopped working. I sign up to these 2 year contracts where the phone is part of the cost of your capped plan and that has always suited me. For the past two contract renewals my previous handset has mysteriously stopped working within weeks of the renewal date forcing me to upgrade.

Did I say mysteriously stopped working? I guess they haven’t been such mysterious episodes. Two years ago as my daughter marvelled at the prospect of inheriting my Motorolla flip phone when my new contract came up (to play games only) she accidentally dropped it into a large glass of bourbon and coke. No, she wasn’t drinking the bourbon. I was. She was just standing next to me practicing her phone flipping technique when it sprung from her hands and drowned in a bottomless cocktail. End of phone. As I use my mobile for business a quick decision had to be made on the new handset as part of my contract renewal. I went for the touch pad Samsung. After six months I finally got used to the new beast and 18months along, just as familiarity had set in and I was in a phone comfort zone, my daughter once again interrupted cocktail hour by knocking my champagne glass over the handset. A quick retrieval meant the phone didn’t die … but the touch pad froze on me rendering the phone useless and yet again I was phone-less. LUCKILY both alcohol phone deaths were within weeks of phone renewal soooooo, I get a new handset at no extra cost. But now I have to relearn how to use the bloody thing.

I successfully steered clear of the iPhone and went for a trusty old Nokia taking me back to my very original mobile phone roots. It is something called an N series and has some nifty little keyboard that pops out when I need to email or SMS. I can email from my phone? Are you serious? And there seems to be a Facebook option there. Hmm. What else? Some sort of GPS or navigational device which can pinpoint exactly where I am in the world (just in case I have no idea of my whereabouts I guess?!) Handy. So I have loaded it all up and I have turned it on, but I’ll be buggered if I can work out how to make a phone call. I am staring at the touch screen hitting things and everything is taking me to an internet option. All I can see are metaphoric $$$$ flashing across the screen as every connection I make rings up some sort of added cost on my account. All I want to do is call someone! I am starting to worry that I haven’t signed up for a phone at all but some sort of NASA communication device that requires a degree. I mentioned this to an acquaintance and she said “it’s not rocket science”. Yes actually, I think it is!

Where the hell is that manual? This is going to take me another six months to work this out. Until I do, you all need to call me, ok? I think the green button will let me answer the phone …

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