Sunday, December 6, 2009

Day 63

Last night was date night. Date night is a strategy commonly used in marriages to keep the love alive. It’s where you are supposed to take your attention away from work, kids, chores, friends and just concentrate on each other. Getting back to basics I suppose and remembering why you fell in love in the first place. Date night.

Derek and I started pursuing the date night technique this year. We had done it before but in spits and spurts and prior to this year we probably only had a total of four date nights since our first child was born over 10 years ago. I think this year we have managed four already with another to come next weekend. (We take the opportunity whenever we have the offer of overnight babysitting.)

Yesterday the kids went to spend the night with their cousins. Derek and I had the house and the night to ourselves. Derek likes to plan our date nights (with a schedule) so last night we were going to head to the club for a few drinks, then off to a restaurant for a feed then back home to watch some M rated television that we don’t normally watch with kids around (like Sex and the City, and Entourage) and then strip Wii games (yes, he is quite jouvenile) …. And then … well, you know ….

But of course yesterday I was exhausted from the cheer sleepover and my nanna nap had me sleeping right up past 5pm. I had trouble waking up from the sleep too which meant I was a little quiet and maybe a tad grumpy. The last thing I felt like doing was getting dressed up and heading out. Luckily Derek knows how to read my no-so-discrete facial expressions – in other words I had a flashing neon sign on my forehead saying “don’t expect me to go out tonight” – so he quietly said that we didn’t have to go to the club we could just order in. Yes! Ditch the schedule. What a great idea. Let’s just order in.

Date night. It is an interesting phenomenon because the expectations of a date night don’t necessarily change with the age of the participants or the age of the relationship. The girl still wants to be romanced, snuggle on the couch, have a bit of a chat, relax, enjoy the ambiance, and the boy still spends the entire night doing what he can to get the girl in bed. By far the easiest route to the bedroom is to get her liquored up. This has always been Derek’s strategy and it hasn’t changed over 15 years together.

It is funny to find out that I was not the only one being groomed last night by her husband. A friend of mine was also on date night. She text me to advise that she too was not so much being dined as wined by her husband. No guesses as to why.

Date nights don’t always go as expected though. Instead of taking the night as it comes and enjoying the moment, weeks of expectation can lead to disappointment. Date nights can actually make or break a marriage particularly if you discover that you don’t enjoy each others company any more. For Derek and I we have more successful date nights than unsuccessful so it’s all good.

I’m not going to go into the details of how our date night turned out but I have woken up relatively hang-over free and Derek is whistling as he makes bacon and egg sandwiches for breakfast. I think we are both reasonably happy with the outcome.

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