Thursday, December 17, 2009

Day 74

Why is getting hit with bird poo considered good luck? I am not sure I have actually ever been shat on by a bird but you would think the odds would be quite high given they are all up there circling and we are wandering along cluelessly at ground level. So if there are a mob of birds up there, and a tonne of people down here, why don’t more people get bombed? And if the odds are fairly high, then why is it lucky? Or do we just say it’s lucky to placate the bombee?

I know I talk a lot of crap but this blog spot is actually going to be dedicated to it. This morning my boot camp trainer got hit with a missile. She was just about to take my end of year measurements (to prove just how fabulous this deep fried fruit is becoming J) when she felt a flick to the head. Given I was taking off my t-shirt at the time (don’t get too excited, I was wearing a sports singlet underneath) she assumed I had a toggle on my clothes that hit her in the head. Sorry, no toggle. The shadow of a wing span on the ground and the rush of air whooshing overhead should have been a clue. The wetness seeping into the scalp with dribble effect may also have alerted her. She looked me in the eye and said “please don’t tell me I have bird shit on my head.” I agreed. I shouldn’t tell her. “Leanne, is their bird shit on my head?” She was getting louder and a little high pitched. So I took a closer look and after taking three safety steps backwards out of her reach I confirmed that she did in fact have a pile of turd in her locks. She then did a hysterical jig around the car park and screamed a bit and stamped her feet. Her business partner was of no use whatsoever as she was doubled over in fits of laughter adding to the screaming and general hysteria. I tried to fix it all by saying quite simply “it’s meant to be good luck”. I then grabbed my exercise towel and wiped the offending leakage from her hair.

But this all has me wondering – why is getting pooped on good luck? Or is the good luck thing bullshit? (Sorry …. Bird shit.) In what culture could wearing faeces be considered a good thing? I did hear that the myth goes back to biblical times where a woman got crapped on by a bird and BINGO immaculate conception. That would make the woman Mary right? I know I didn’t do too well in bible studies but I don’t recall reading Jesus was born as a result of bird turd. And I am not sure my trainer is going to necessarily think it good luck to fall pregnant as a result of her encounter this morning. She may think it good luck though that she wasn’t staring open mouthed at the clouds when it happened. And she has blonde hair so it kind of blended which is lucky. She may also consider it good luck that dogs can’t fly. Oh and how lucky was she that I had a towel handy?! And she was super lucky that it was a smaller variety bird and not a pelican because those suckers can really pack a bum punch. Yep, when you look at it from every angle she was quite lucky!

Still, I don’t think I’ll be spending my days staring at the heavens saying “pick me, pick me”. It would be unfair of me to take all the luck …

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