On the day before Christmas the dogs gave to me 3 smelly poos, 2 fatty cysts and a head full of rotting teeth …
As the kids bounce off the walls this Christmas Eve and I pack our suitcases, put the presents in the car and get our house in order for our Christmas travels I marvel at how the dogs have decided to make their presence well and truly felt with gifts of their own.
It started with taking Millie to the vet last week due to really stinky breath and bleeding gums. I thought that perhaps she was in some sort of dental pain so in we trooped to discover she has rotting teeth and needs $500 worth of dental surgery. Then as I was brushing all the excess fur from Max’s coat to get him ready for his Christmas travels I discovered two lumps under his skin which are far too big to ignore and of enough concern to make an emergency veterinary appointment for this morning. We have our fingers crossed that they are only cysts and nothing more serious. Derek is at the vet with him now. And finally the doggy moment I dread more than any other doggy moment, I had to pick up not one, not even two, but THREE dog poos during our walk.
Seriously, the dogs hardly ever poo outside their own backyard. Poo’ing on a walk is very rare for these two so to have them both do it, and one back up for a second sitting, is very unexpected and quite challenging for this little ol’ deep fried fruit. Who am I kidding? Challenging is not the word for it. It’s downright freaking WRONG!
The kids and I decided to take the dogs for a quick walk to a nearby park and as usual I had the little blue poo bag dispenser hanging from Millie’s lead just to keep up appearances. I don’t actually expect to use it, I just hang it there to make it look like I am a responsible dog owner. As the kids played on the swings and the dogs sniffed out the area for something perfumous to roll in, I sat and relaxed on the bench taking in the joy of kidnom and acknowledging the simplicity of dog happiness. All they need is love, food and a walk and their world is true bliss. Anything else, including rolling in duck shit, is just a bonus. Anyway, Millie was the first to drop a bomb. She was skipping along (as only a little white fluffy can) and then sniffed, circled and got in that hip lock position. I stared at her opened mouthed and thought “crap” (yeah, literally). Bugger. Hmmm. Ok. She’s small. It’s small. How hard can it be?
So I sat for a few more minutes contemplating the task at hand when Max galloped by, stopped, backtracked, sniffed and got into hip lock position. He then laid his steamy dog sausage right in the middle of the open grass area (at least Millie had the decency to do hers under a bush). As I yelled “Max Nooooooo” he startled, sucked in the remainder and then galloped forward again only to finish his business thirty seconds later right under the playground equipment for every child to enjoy. More dog sausage. And with that my mind conjured up visions of a dog poo sandwich …. And the heaving began.
With a big sigh I got my little poo bag dispenser ready and began my civic duty. By the time I got to the final collection I was yakking and Tahlia was at my side offering to do Millie’s for me. How sweet. The only problem was it was covered in ants (incredible! Poo eating ants?) and appeared to be coming alive and walking on its own. This deterred her a little and I completed the job on my own.
Anyway, it’s Christmas Eve and the dogs clearly don’t want to be left out of the equation. As I put the last box of gifts into the car and return to vacuum the house and wash up the breakfast dishes (if the house is going to be burgled while we are away I don’t want the robbers to see a dirty home) I pray that our Max is just suffering from some sort of dog acne rather than battling a more life threatening growth.
As soon as Derek gets home I’ll let you know how Max went…
Right now though I’m off to get my nails done. Good nails are essential at Christmas!
In the meantime let’s sing:
On the last day of Christmas my true love gave to me 12 dirty dishes, 11 newfound wrinkles, 10 acrylic nails, 9 rooms to vacuum, 8 daily vitamins, 7 ghastly chin hairs, 6 hours of sleep, 5 boxes of gifts ….. 4 suitcases, 3 dog poos, 2 fatty cysts and a dog with rotting teeth ….
PS Max came back all clear! Phew. Fatty cysts ...