Friday, July 2, 2010

Day 270

The fundraising demon has reared its ugly head. It’s not that I am anti-fundraising. It’s just the chocolate that haunts me. As I sit here and type I have a box of Cadbury fundraisers glaring at me … taunting me … staring me down … smiling a false smile of happiness and joy … when really they are EVIL.

I am usually very strong willed. I am driven and committed and have a will of iron. Most of the time. But then there are days like yesterday when I get a case of the fuckity fuckits and my will power, and drive, and commitment all fly out the window …. With little Caramelo Koalas sitting firmly in their place.

It’s not enough that I am gorging on fundraising merchandise, but I have also been given the most irresistibly smooth chocolates as thankyous from various cheerleaders. A bag of Lindt balls has taken up residence in my handbag and the sheer lush of those tiny creatures gives me pleasure I didn’t know existed.

I’m not allowed to eat chocolate you know. Not just because a moment on the lips means a lifetime on the hips …. and can result in hail damage and muffin tops … not to mention zits … but because I am classic migraine sufferer with chocolate being a major trigger.

Tell that to the stupid Freddo eyeballing me as I type!!!!! Yesterday I succumbed to said Fred. He tasted good. He was smiling all the way with his big wide mouth frog smile. I suddenly remember the exquisite little balls of delight in my handbag. As I chowed down on the last bite of Fred I realised with excitement that this wasn’t the most wonderful thing there was to eat within reach, so I dived for Prince Lindt. After three of those fabulous fantasy foods I felt remorse. So I had another just to be sure to cement the remorse in nice and tight. Well, I was already feeling bad about it, might as well go all the way …

Oh the guilt. Oh the remorse. Oh the shame. Oh fuck it. That’s why God invented pain killers! So the migrainous amongst us can still indulge in wicked little fantasies.

Gimme …


So that is why I sit here today with a thumping head under a too bright light. Oh, and the stupid fundraising box multiplied overnight and I now have two of the bastards. Gremlins ... who the hell fed the Koalas after midnight?


It's time to do some blog flogging. Tis Friday after all!!




4 comments :

  1. Yes. You are so right. About it all. How can that be true?

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  2. Oh goddess, you make me laugh and wince in turn. Just say no to the drug that is chocolate. xx

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  3. Oh, thank you so much! That's awesome - you putting me on your weekly fave!

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  4. Hate evil stupid chocolate fundraising. I believe the husband and I were possessed by demons one evening and killed about 24 frogs in one sitting. Not cool.

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