Monday, September 13, 2010

Day 343

Beware the hungry olive jar!

I've lost 3 kgs. Sounds like a great reason for a party.

The strange thing is I wasn't trying to lose the weight. It has just happened in the last 2 weeks. I am thinking it is adrenalin that has done it. You know, the fact that I am busy and basically living off adrenalin right now. Anyway, I've lost 3 kgs and I am definitely not going to complain about it ..... Or am I?

The interesting thing about losing weight when you are older is that you can look a bit like an over-used balloon. When you blow up a balloon for the first time and it is all full and rounded, and then you let the air out, the deflated balloon still looks like it did before you inflated it in the first place. It still looks quite pert, and fresh, and has all it's elasticity. But if you blow and deflate over and over, or if you have had it inflated for a week or more and then the air disappears, the deflated balloon becomes all limp and crinkly and saggy.

When I was trying on my leather jacket in Sydney on Friday I stood in front of the mirror and while admiring the jacket noticed that the black pants I was wearing were a bit saggy in the bum. Hmm. After making my purchase I wandered off through the crowds and as I passed a window I again noticed my droopy trousers. So I touched the fabric in that area to get a handle on just how big my trousers were. That's when I screamed. It wasn't loose fabric at all. It was a loose arse. They weren't baggy trousers. I have a baggy bum. My arse has gone south!!!!!

Ok, don't panic. Just need to do hill sprints for a few months to get it back up to its original slightly higher position. Put a plan in place and act on it. All will be well. Won't it?

At home last night I got brave and walked around the house in my PJs without a tight fitting top. Normally I wear a fitted singlet under my PJs to keep my bits and pieces in check. Last night I decided to swing free. I was making a salad and at some point I must have leaned over and got my right boob sucked into a funnel. I didn't feel it. But the evidence was clear. I had a perfect round ring of orangey brownish gunk of some description on my shirt circling my tit. It was a mystery how it got there. I took stock of the bench top and realised the only thing it could be was the jar of olives. But how could my boob have fallen in the jar of olives without me feeling it? But it happened. And as I leaned forward to simulate the possibility I realised that my boob goes all long and skinny and elongated when placed in the braless leaning over position. Yikes!!!! Saggy baggy bum and saggy baggy boobs.

Now as I said, losing 3 kgs in a great reason to celebrate. But as a deflated balloon that has been around the block a few times the deflation can make you a bit limp, crinkly and saggy. And that's where this piece of deep fried fruit is at.

So how am I going to respond to this situation? I could go out and exercise my little arse off to tighten up the latex in my balloons, or I could eat and eat and eat and just fill the space full of fat again.

Hmmm. What to do what to do?

1 comment :

  1. That is a dilemma right there. A mighty one.

    Actually though, if you look at pics of your self, the slimmer ones v. the plumper ones will reveal the truth. The added plump under the aforementioned areas will result in approximately the same ratios. Because your thigh and your ribcage will also plump. Unfortunately. So they may not sag, but have no more real curve.

    Boo.

    Carry on. It's a cross we all bear.

    ;)

    ReplyDelete

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