Monday, September 20, 2010

Day 350

Forget snakes on a plane ... how about kids on a train?

Day 350. It looks like only 15 days left of this blogging every day for a year thing. That means the big four one is looming. Crapola!!!! I am feeling more like deep fried fruit than I ever did. When I turned 40 I felt the fittest and healthiest I had been in years. Not now. I feel very droopy, more than slightly fatigued and a bit brain dead. Oh well. It happens. Having a puppet mouth, hail damage in my arse and boobs that get lost in my arm pits isn't the end of the world ... I can bounce back.

Hey, what did you get up to on your weekend? You already know that I hosted the big gold and silver bash and my house. I mean, the middle-sized gold and silver bash. Then yesterday we had our slightly postponed Fathers Day adventure which was a steam train ride to a little country town where we had lunch, had a few drinks, walked around the markets and rode the train home again. It was a beautiful day!

Is it considered child abuse if you cover your kids with soot, trap them on a ledge outside a moving train, and make them breathe bucket loads of sulphur while trapping them in a pitch black tunnel? Hmph. I thought it may have been border line. That was the only "incident" we had yesterday. Just a little death defying experience to give us something to talk about.

You see the little train man who was walking through the cabins advising us of the do's and don'ts of steam train travel forgot to mention that when the train toots its tooter over and over again it means we are going in a tunnel. We knew that standing outside the train and/or having the windows open while in a tunnel was a big no no and could result in death by sulphur-cide but what we didn't know was when those tunnels were going to appear. Hmmm. Yes, well, needless to say Derek and I had Tahlia and her cousins outside the train on the little fenced in bridge thing between carriages, admiring the beauty of the Australian country side, and marvelling at how vigorously the train was tooting, when the world suddenly went dark and we could no longer breath without subsequent asphyxiation. It was a harrowing ordeal. The first thought when blue skies instantly turn to black night is "shit". Then as it continues you think "kids falling off a train" and then you think "kids dying slow and agonising sulphur-cide" and then its "my gut is full of rotten egg gas and I will die sucking on train fart" and then it's "quick get the kids back inside the train and close that bloody door". But the last thought (and the most important one) came very late and as I dragged my niece and nephew through one door wondering where my husband and daughter were, I realised that not only were we going to be arrested for child abuse (if we managed to survive) but that we had now opened the door to the carriage and we were now going to take the rest of the passengers with us. Bugger. Try as I might I couldn't get the kids and I inside and the door closed. It was pitch black, we couldn't see, we couldn't breathe and we seemed to be trapped between the door and wall and I had no idea if Derek and Tahlia were trying to scramble in as well. As it turned out Derek had Tahlia's face planted under his arm in an attempt to give her something slightly less toxic to breathe and they had backed into the other carriage also opening the door to poison 20 more people. Anyway, light finally appeared and so did our sight. Well, a foggy version of our former sight. Yes, the cabins were full of grey clouds and people were scrambling and coughing and wheezing as they opened the windows to let out the pollution. But no one seemed to cranky. They were all alive. We were alive. And I had something to blog about!! You can't complain about that ....

We arrived at our lunch destination looking like we'd been snorting lines of black cocaine ... yes ... breathing in soot actually gives you black nostrils ... go figure .... but that didn't dampen our spirits. A couple of glasses of champagne soon took any minor stresses away and the rest of the day was an absolute joy!

So that was our day. How was yours? Are you ready for a new one? A new day. A blank canvass in which to paint our life. I have the red, orange and yellow paints out. It's gonna be a good one ...

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