Friday, October 1, 2010

Day 361

Today I had another first. My first Ikea experience.

Yep, we didn't just travel all the way from Canberra to Adelaide to go to the drive in. We also came to buy Tahlia a desk for her birthday. Crazy? Maybe. Of course we could have gone to Sydney, but where is the fun in that? Nope. Adelaide just had to happen and Ikea was part of it. We wanted to join the flat pack revolution. Adelaide seemed like a great place to do it.

So we stood at the doors and waited for them to open. And waited. And waited. Keen? Yeah, just a little. Finally it was opening hour and we were in!! And the arrows carried us through a city of flat-pack, via kids gear, shelving, storage, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen .... through it all ... at which point I had mild panic ... as we moved deeper and deeper into the bowels of the store I wondered where the exits were ... was there an exit? Where were these arrows taking us? Was this trickery ... a trap ... another universe ... where would it end? Where were the windows?? I tried to turn and run against the arrows but I felt too naughty. I looked up at the security cameras. Would I get in trouble for back tracking? If I were to reverse did I have to walk backwards? We kept walking forwards. We just walked faster. Then we got separated. Where are my family? Around that bend? No. That one? No. Shit. Behind that facade? No. Should I scream? Dare I turn and walk back the way I came? No. Keep walking. Getting thirsty. Feeling weak. And then I found them. Standing next to the perfect desk. Everything about it was right. The size, the colour, the price, the configuration. Perfect. Only one minor problem. They were sold out. Shit. Bugger. Poo. Bum. Wee. Fuck. So we threw little tantrums and bolted through the rest of the store breathing only when we were safely back out in the carpark. We gasped for air. We staggered and fell. Gotta get away. Too intense ...

Back in the car and on our way out. No exit sign. Again that feeling of entrapment. Ikea has us captured. No way out of the car park. Around and around we go. You have got to be kidding me!! Walked away without a desk and now we'll die in the car park? Shit. Bugger. Poo. Bum. Wee. Fuck. Then a light bulb flashed in my brain. Tom Tom. I turned him on .... he mapped out our escape. We were free ....

Until next time ...

It was a bloody great desk. The Ikea safari will happen again. Next time we will come prepared. Walki talkies, food, water, night vision goggles, passports and wads of cash.

Next stop, Sydney ...

1 comment :

  1. Hahaha. I know that feeling. We go infrequently due to the trapped sensations....

    ReplyDelete

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