Saturday, October 23, 2010

Day 383

After I left you yesterday things got progressively worse.  The ghost of Jim kept bouncing around my gut and the dude on my head just wouldn't bugger off.  While it seemed evident I had a hangover I couldn't understand why it was so severe.  I hadn't drank that much, unless wearing Jim Beam pyjamas really does double the effect.  So anyway, I decided to take drastic action and I took to the effervescence.  When the ghost of Jim turns into a ball in your stomach there is only one thing to do. Burp like a bitch.  So I went to the fridge and took out the black doctor in the red ambulance and chugged that sucker down.  Coke has amazing medicinal qualities.  Then I went to the comfort of my bedroom and burped like the strapping young country lass you all know secretly lives inside me.  It worked a treat.  The ball of gas just took flight and the ghost of Jim went with it.  Hell, I even started burping the alphabet.  It was all very musical and quite delightful if the truth be know.  But then something happened.  Getting Demon Jim out seemed to unleash a new monster.   My final burp brought with it the unthinkable .... the after grog follow through. Yep, I threw up.  Shocking.  Now I really did feel like shit.  And instead of getting better, it got worse.  Luckily I had Mum with me all day who took to the house cleaning and the washing while I wallowed in self pity.  There was a point where Mum and I decided that it wasn't a hangover at all, and that perhaps it was a virus.  You know how when you are hungover, all you want to do is eat? Blotting paper my dad calls it.  Something to soak up the liquid within. Well, I didn't want to eat at all.  The nausea was getting worse and worse and eating was the furthest thing from my mind.  I even went and bought a steak sandwich which is usually a cure all, but nope, I could only manage 3 bites.  Anyway, as I said there was a point where we decided I had a virus. At what point was that? Um, right about the time Mum and I were driving home from having lunch at the school and my nausea hit again. Uncontrollable.  As I was the driver, this wasn't a good thing.  The vomiting began. Violent.  What does someone driving a car do when they start to chunder?  There is nothing you can do.  I threw up all over myself over and over and over again while keeping one eye on the road. It was HORRENDOUS.  I started to cry. I was screaming "help me" and Mum was doing her best to mop as I went.  We pulled over.  I was covered.  And that right there is the point in which we decided this was so much more than a hangover.  It had to be a bigger demon that Jim ...

The rest of the day was spent in bed with a bucket beside me.  And whether he actually caused it or not, Jim Beam is still a bastard ...

PS I am still feeling a bit under the weather.  Jim may well of put that man on my head, and dirty socks in my mouth, but I am really thinking he may not be the TOTAL bastard I thought he was.  We just went up to the shops and I was overcome with waves of nausea again. Plus I feel dizzy and weak. Not even a freshly cooked BBQ chook can shake me from my no-food-funk. I think there is something else lurking in the depths of my being that Jim may well have dislodged during the burping exorcism yesterday. What do you think? 

4 comments :

  1. Oh Leanne,

    I hope you feel better real soon, that sounds like the worst bender ever!!!

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  2. oh thats yucky and driving oh so sorry that had to have been the worst of the worst.

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  3. I started to heave just thinking of you in the car vomitting....ohhh...and than to have to clean it up...yuck!....I thought I would feel closer to you than the thousands of miles in between us, so I sat down with Jim last night and we shared a few drinks....luckily, I did not have the end result that you did...I hope you are feeling better my friend....

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  4. Oh gosh Leanne! total ewwness! You poor thing :( . I hope that today the sun is shining healthy on you my friend xo

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