Monday, January 3, 2011

Day 454

It's official. I'm loaded.

No, not drunk.

Actually I may well be overloaded.

No, not stressed.

I'm totally maxed out.

No, not the credit card.

Or I could just be plain old fashioned full.

Yeah, that's it.  I'm totally, completely, undeniably (and quite festively) full. Freakin' full as a frog in a feeding frenzy.

I'm extremely uncomfortable.  I've been eating like ... like ... like ... um ... like a person who eats a lot. Bread, meat, pizza, toasted sandwiches, bacon and eggs. All of it.  Haven't had a "toilet two" in days.  Yikes! Add that to a hormonal condition commonly referred to as "the monthly visitor",  and I feel extremely swollen. My eyes are little slits in this bowling ball of a head. Even the tan is being stretched to capacity. I am so bloated even my wrinkles have started to disappear.  Not a bad pay off I guess.

It would help if I could get rid of some of this fluid.  It's not all champagne and chocolates you know. Some of it is metabolism (or lack there of) and being all womanly. But mostly it's champagne and chocolates.

Anyway, I'll stop complaining about it now and have another chocolate. They've almost all gone.  No point leaving them lying about.  Plus I have one last bottle of champas to polish off. Tonight.  And then I'll rest for a few days back at home in the comfort of normality.  Which will get me to the weekend when we're back at the seaside and then I can start all over again!

Damn you summer festive season. DAMN YOU!!!!!

Thank goodness for nice plump and juicy BBQ chickens.  This tan is my saving grace.

2 comments :

  1. I know the feeling! I blame the chocolate too. There's just something so irristible about it though huh? Happy New Year. I hope you poo soon :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ick. That feeling. I know it well.

    Makes me positively look forward to some hum drum routine and gallons of water and salad...

    ReplyDelete

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