Friday, February 4, 2011

Day 486







What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Great quote. One of my favourites. But I've got to tell you something, the only thing lying with in me right now appears to be of the vegetable matter. I think it might be broccoli.

I'm tired. And there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.

Normally mornings are my thing. I'm a morning person. I jump out of bed, seize the day, set about my work with a BANG BANG BANG, start to waver by mid afternoon, and am a useless slug by evening.  It's fairly standard.  My batteries are firing first thing and start to lose power by the end of the day.

Yesterday I did great. Did a whole heap of BANG BANG BANG, a few hours worth in fact, got loads of actions completed, went to lunch with some my aunt and cousin, drove into a fog at some point in proceedings, lost the plot and spent the afternoon in bed.  There were a few frustrated tears as my head turned not only to mush, but went through a spin cycle as well.  My arms and legs felt like they were going through the wringer. Husband came home and found me like that.  We laid there together contemplating all things fatigue.  I voiced my concerns.  There is something seriously wrong with me!! This can't just be fibromyalgia.  Can it? Mind over matter usually gets me through these bouts. The good ol' "suck it up princess" works a treat lots of the time. I may not go out and run marathons, but I can usually self talk my way through getting the washing out.  I can even manage to haul my ass to the gym occasionally during these episodes to get the endorphins pumping with a hope that energy begets energy.  But not now.  I'm deep in the throws of it and it sucks. Night times are the worst.  I don't like the dark hours.  There is not an ounce of vampire in me ...

But at least I have my mornings right?  Jumping out of bed and whizzing into action.  I can actually fit a days worth of activity into half a day. Yes siree!! That's my time to shine.  That's my time to run a business and be a mum and do the wifey thing and follow up on all things kids books and cheerleading.  That's MY time.

Not today.  Today my mornings have been swiped from me too.  I can hardly move my body is so heavy with  fatigue.  I'm here, but I'm not actually here.  My body is devoid of anything remotely resembling neurons, and motor nerves and blood and muscles.  Which is a right royal bugger given it's the kids last day of school holidays and I'd like to spend quality time with them.  A right royal fucking bugger!!!

Broccoli.  That's what I am.  A full on old and wilting vegetable.  Worse than that! I'm so lifeless they've decided to deep fry me ...

I need to dig deep and find my inner energizer bunny instead.  Or at least the battery charger to recharge the little bastard.

Ps Did you know that according to an article published in the journal Cancer Prevention Research at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, it was found that eating broccoli daily may help stave off some serious health problems including a lot of gastric problems and perhaps broccoli can even help prevent stomach cancer.  Perhaps I should be embracing my inner broccoli instead of swearing at it ....

Time to flog it baby:

5 comments :

  1. It's crazy how that fatigue can just suck the life out of you. I get it too, but usually I attribute it to a complete lack of sleep or crappy sleep.

    One thing's for certain: they need to fix us.

    And fast.

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  2. Maybe if we all ate more broccoli? Nah...

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  3. I wish I could send you some zing. xxx

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  4. I heart broccoli. Hope you find your get up and morning go. I'm sorry you've been feeling so blah. Hugs xx

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  5. I lurve broccoli! Have I ever mentioned the broccoli picnics I had when pregnant with Boy 1? No?

    Picture this: Large saucepan full of freshly steamed broccoli. Table cloth on loungeroom floor. TV on. Fat pregnant woman squatting on cloth, broccoli saucepan in front, second large saucepan filled with rich lasagne-recipe cheese sauce next to it. Scoop 'n dip. Scoop 'n dip.

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