Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Day 1038 - Self Check Out

Confession time ....

Photo borrowed from Gold Coast News
Oh the challenges of having a Deep Fried brain. Being the control freak that I am, and because I don't trust that everyone around me is going to have my "a quick game's a good game" mentality, I like to use the self check-out at the grocery store. I have become proficient at the Woollies one for my quick-in-and-out supermarket trips, and yesterday I was introduced to the Coles one.  Let's just say it didn't prove to be a very quick game ... and let's also just say I may end up in handcuffs before this post is out.



I had fifteen minutes to get into the supermarket, whiz around the fresh produce and deli section, and then get back to car in time for the school run.  So I grabbed what I needed - zucchini, lettuce, tomatoes. cheese, bread and diced bacon - then bolted to the self check-out for a quick scan, wave and go.

Who knew the Coles thingimos needed more time to process the weight of items before you hurl them into your shopping bag. In this case a quick game is not a good game.  Does not compute. Please wait for assistance. Dum de dum de dum.

Who also knew that resting my wallet on the side of the scanning area would quadruple the weight of a zucchini. $8 for one zucchini! I don't think so. Please wait for assistance. Dum de dum de dum.

I finally finished and walked quickly out of the store, down the escalator and to my car tripping over one of those cement parking bumper things in the process.  Dropping my wallet, keys, bacon and possibly spraining my big toe in the process, I got back up and headed for the car.

Hang on a minute. Bacon? Why did I have bacon in my hand?

Holy shit! Why isn't the bacon in my bag?  Why am I carrying bacon?

I've just stolen bacon!

Looking at my watch, wincing at my sprained toe and looking at how far I had to walk to confess my sins and pay my dues, I jumped in the car and high tailed it to school pick up (looking in my rear-view mirror the whole way).

It's official ... I am now on the run ....

24 comments :

  1. I'm sure those self checkouts are created to entice us to shoplift. The amount of labour used to watch all the customers scan their shopping and to go to every one when the inevitable error happens, could have been one super duper speedy checkout chick.

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  2. I'm still on the run ... (bacon now long gone)

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  3. I accidentally stole a hat once. Baby Boyo insisted on holding it and when we got to the checkout, I realised I couldn't find it and assumed he'd dropped it, but could not be bothered going to get another one.

    Two days later when I got the pram out of the boot, out popped a hat! I could not face the thought of driving all the way back across town so, I, um, gulp, kept it.

    I justified it by thinking of all the times I'd bought stuff, only to have it go 25% off the next day. I figured I'd paid for that $8 baby hat!

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  4. Haha, I am on the run with a plastic bangle. We were in a shop, one daughter put it on my arm when the other daughter tipped over a bottle of smelly body oils. The jasmine oil when EVERWHERE, I tried to help clean it up then ran. Found the bangle later on my wrist. Rachel x

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  5. I hate the self-checkout! Old people hate anything new.

    Next time you go back, [ay for the bacon. You'll feel better.


    crankyoldman

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  6. Oh...btw that was a fun post!

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  7. Between me and my kids we have inadvertently shoplifted quite a lot of things. I'm sure it all evens out in the end. Surely?

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  8. A dummy, matchbox car, tennis balls and rice rusks have all been inadvertantly nicked.

    Once I've given them to my daughter to entertain her, I seem to forget until we are unloading shopping into the boot.

    I won't tell anyone if you dont ;-)

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  9. I promise I won't tell. I think we've all done that, or close to it. It certainly gives new meaning to the phrase 'bringing home the bacon'. Haha

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  10. Lol! It's so easy to do that with those things. I have gone to walk out of Big W with a pair of baby track pants under my arm after scanning everything else through. It was only when I they dropped out that I realised and went back in. The woman at the counter laughed and asked why I didn't just keep walking. If I'd been in a rush I would have but I had other shopping to do in the centre and didn't want to end up with security following me around or something!

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  11. I came home after Christmas shopping with a metal table number from a cafe in the pram. I went around the local cafes asking them if they were missing "No 10". Still have no idea where it came from (or how it got there).

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  12. Think of it as compensation for their stupid machine. I do like those self serve check outs for the quick items they are fun.

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  13. Bahaha! That's funny. And nowo you've eaten the evidence!

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  14. I think we've all done this!

    Mis 10 always had a fondness for swiping things off shelves when she was sitting in her pram.

    I love the self serve check outs....in an out.

    What I don't love is the people who are on their monthly shop, items spewing over the sides of their trolleys as they are so full going through self serve. They need to leave that amount of shopping to the professionals!

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  15. Yep I have totally done the same thing, possibly on more than one occasion. Mind you it looks like there are a few of us on the run together

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  16. Ha ha! Serves them right for not making the silly machines more user friendly.
    Anyway, it's not like you had the intention of taking the bacon. You were fully prepared to pay for it....you just forgot! Simple!

    Visiting from FYBF :)

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  17. Hahaha, still giggling at this, you'll be looking over your shoulder from now on teehee. bet the bacon was tasty though :)

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  18. LOL! Well, you've put new meaning to the term, "Bring home the bacon..." Geddit? Geddit? :)
    Self-checkout was the bane of my existence when it first came out. Now, we're great friends. Totally tight :)

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  19. I LOVE self-checkout. It's so fun! I was a checkout chick at uni and really didn't mind the job at all. Except for those dreadful training videos on how to pack bags and how to clean your conveyer belt. I almost accidently stole a lamp from Ikea but I had my then 12 yo daughter with me and I had to go back to do the right thing. Can you imagine the madness of going BACK IN to Ikea? AFTER you've escaped!!???

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  20. LMAO (sorry) but I literally laughed out loud when you realised you were holding bacon! Hehe I onlynusethe self check-out at places like Big W - have never been brave enough to use the supermarket ones! Perhaps a good thing - as I don't want to be a bacon fugitive :))

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  21. I have been there! Not with bacon but with socks. A four dollar pair of kids socks that was hiding in the fold of my pram. I think bacon is much more worth doing time for though.

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  22. So it looks like we're all on the run together! That's a relief. At least they'll be a bunch of us in prison to hold hands and create a bloggy prison community.

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  23. 500 years ago (it seems) I had the baby in the car capsule in the trolley. It was only after struggling back to the car, packing the car, and lifting out baby that I discovered the rogue camembert....

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  24. deep stroller baskets have caused me to shoplift a couple of times in the 20 months my son has been alive. They seem to hide in there and boom, I get home and haven't paid for a large jar of moccona. Having a baby who was asleep and in bed did not make me one bit think about going back.

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