Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Day 2078 - The realities of striving for success

Back to climbing mountains.



When I'm not feeling that great about moving forward with my dreams, or if I'm finding it all too hard, or even if I just need to visualise, I like to listen to the Miley Cyrus song "The Climb".

When we headed to Vegas it was with a lot of promise.  The promise of what we'd learn, the networks we would make and the promise that we had a deal sizzling away in the background at home which would take the pressure off us incredibly.

Which would take the pressure off ME incredibly ....


Remember that post I wrote about taking chances, facing fear and just going for it? The one about opportunities and how many you might miss due to self doubt?

I can almost see it,
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it

In that post I told you that I was having a meeting with [insert big worldwide publisher's name here] about taking over the Cheer Chick Charlie books for me.  That [insert big worldwide publisher's name here] were very interested in acquiring the series and all that went with that (including maybe taking it overseas and discussing TV possibilities etc).

Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction, 
My faith is shakin'

It was an exciting time.  You see the daughter of the head of the children's section at [insert big worldwide publisher's name here] read one of my books and said she was OBSESSED (in capital letters) with Cheer Chick Charlie.  OBSESSED!

But I, I gotta keep tryin'
Goot keep my head held high

I went to Vegas feeling very excited about the possibilities. My books were being pitched to their acquisitions team while we were away.  We'd find out within the week if it was a NO (because no's are easier than yes' apparently).

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Well we heard from them within the week.  I was devastated.  Absolutely distraught. I'd gone to Vegas looking at the Licensing Expo with the eyes of someone who had a publisher and who could concentrate on being an author rather than a publisher, marketing company, PR rep and all that stuff that just wears me out.  They said no.

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

I cried.  I felt defeated and exhausted and useless and completely and utterly blindsided.  But her daughter was OBSESSED?! What went wrong?

"... there were a lot of differing opinions ... though one thing everyone loved was the focus on girls being active and sending positive messages ....  in the end though the feeling was the series just isn't quite right for us at the moment ..."

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!

I'm not angry at [insert big worldwide publisher's name here].  I'm not feeling badly about the acquisitions committee nor am I feeling defeated. I just feel bloody bummed.  I had hoped that this would relieve me somewhat, you know?  That someone who knows what they are doing and has the connections already built in would be able to take Charlie around Australia and then (hopefully) around the world.

I may not know it, but
These are the moments that 
I'm gonna remember most, yeah

But things happen for a reason.  I don't know why this is happening the way it is right now ... maybe when they said "isn't quite right for us at the moment" is the reason.  Maybe the timing is out.  

They did say ".. you clearly have the drive and determination to make it work ...."

Just gotta keep goin'
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, 'cause

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'n always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side

It's the climb

So half way through my trip to Vegas I had to look at the licensing expo with author, publisher, marketer, PR rep eyes again and by the end I was ready to take on the world.  Or Australia at least.

I'm pleased to say I'm delivering my books to a distribution company in Sydney this week to have the Charlie books in stores around Australia by Christmas.  It is an amazing opportunity and a great option B.

I'm exhausted.  With the promise of Option A I had felt the burden start to lift for a while, but then it was placed firmly back onto my shoulders.  

But I'm strong.  I can keep on moving on ...

Keep on movin'
Keep Climbin'
Keep the faith baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa, whoa, oh ...

Today as I sit back at my desk in Canberra I do so with my hiking boots on.  

Thanks Miley - I'm ready to start climbing again.

Who's with me?

Do you have a motivational song?

49 comments :

  1. Sorry for your disappointment - that's heartbreaking...but a small set back. It will come. Remember, Confederacy of Dunces took 10 years to get published then won the Pulitzer. The Great Gatsby was a bit of a failure when it was published, but look at it now...and we all know the J.K Rowling stories...you will get there.

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    1. Thanks for that motivation! I did not know that about Confederacy of Dunces. That's very encouraging

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  2. Sorry for not getting to top of that mountain. It huts and is disappointing when you have worked so hard and want something so badly. I love that you listen to Miley and can get the strength to pursue option B.

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  3. Oh that's a buggar Leanne but gee you have my admiration! Look how you bounced back from your disappointment! Your determination and belief in your product is outstanding. It will all fall into place for you - I just know it! BTW - I think I'm gonna need to adopt that Miley song! ;-)

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    1. It's taken me since last Wednesday to bounce back Min. I was so bummed for a day or so. Then I got a burst of inspiration at the expo on the Thursday that pushed me forward again. I'm still kind of shell shocked. I was so certain. Oh well ...

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  4. It is heartbreaking when your 'Plan A' doesn't work. I don't have a song. But I remember all the stories of all the people who 'made it'. None of them achieved success easily. The media do us a great disservice by talking about people as if they're overnight successes. J.K. Rowling had the Harry Potter series turned down by 12 publishers before Bloomsbury picked it up. But unfortunately these aren't the stories we hear. So good to hear you are going to keep trying! Thank you for sharing your story.

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    1. Yeah, it's a bloody tough slog. I actually find it hard to talk about the "downs" of it because if I focus on them I will just give up. But there are times I need to express my outright disappointment and frustration. Plus I guess it keeps things more authentic. My catch phrase is ONWARDS AND UPWARDS. That always helps

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  5. Oh, bugger! All you can do is stay positive and focused on the belief you have in your journey. Every rejection leads to another opportunity - I really do believe that. Keep going x

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    1. Yeah, it's a bugger. I love that: Every rejection lead to another opportunity. I believe that too! My favourite saying is "every no is one step closer to yes". I am just so tired waiting for that big YES!!!! But you're right ... if we keep believing ... it will come

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  6. I'm so sorry for your disappointment. You know, even J K Rowling had knock backs. You'll get there. Xxx

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  7. Thank goodness you have Plan B ready to go, Leanne. I know we all keep mentioning JK, but if she can do it, so can you!

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    1. I know. If there was no Plan B I think I may have just curled up ...

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  8. How funny as I was reading your post I was thinking what Amy wrote about JK Rowling. It may be no now, but yes May still be in your future. I want to get a hold of these books. How exciting that they will be distributed before Christmas. I think you're amazing!! X

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    1. Thanks for the positivity. And re amazing ... ditto Rebecca!!

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  9. Mountain climbers don't tackle Everest first up. Go and smash Kosciuszko...Everest ain't going anywhere.

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    1. I love this! That's such a quotable quote. You're the man.

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    2. Believe in yourself as much as obviously others believe in you :)

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  10. I am so sorry that it fell through but you did amazing to get that far to even be considered. Keep going - can't wait to see them in stores at Christmas time!

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  11. I'm so sorry the publishing deal didn't come through this time but I LOVE that you've kept going nonetheless. And what a great honour to be on their radar and even almost get that offer. So many people get nowhere near that close to a publishing deal.

    I think you've done a great job to get them written and published and now distributed. xx

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    1. Thanks Deb. I loved that your post ran in line with mine today ...

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  12. You know what, I find you so inspirational Leanne. You of all of this so well. And when Charlie takes over the world, it will all be on you, and no one else. That's gonna be an awesome day. xxx

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  13. Great song, I hadn't heard it before, but it is a great motivator. Sorry plan A fell through but I love how you are so determined to just keep going. It is the only way to get anywhere. Sending you lots of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses

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    1. Thanks for the fairies and butterflies! They always help :)

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  14. I think it's great that you are continuing to climb. Plan A would have been a bonus but your current plan will mean so much more.

    I'm not sure I have a motivational song. I have theme songs on a weekly basis which is possibly the same thing, although some weeks the songs are far from motivational.

    Have been thinking about you.

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    1. Yeah. It will mean more. I guess I'm just tired and I had really hoped someone who knew what they were doing could take over for a while. Thanks for thinking of me! x o

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  15. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason, a greater master plan you may not see now (or ever). Still awesome stuff lady, this is a step closer to your dream, I'm sure. Congratulations!!

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    1. Wouldn't it be great if we were privvy to the master plan! Even just a glimpse. But you're right, Onwards and upwards.

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  16. Oh bugg@. You show amazing resilience Leanne ... you will get there in the end!

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    1. :) Bugg@ is such a great word. I applaud the person who created it.

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  17. Ah Leanne! I'm so sorry to hear this. I can imagine how gutted you would be. I love option B though. Option B is awesome. Meanwhile, I love that song also and play it whenever I need to keep faith.

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    1. Yeah, We were gutted. I opened the email while in Vegas and just screamed Nooooooo and burst into tears. Damn it! But Plan B is still pretty amazing. In fact, it had been my Plan A until Plan A came along ... so the universe already had it sorted!

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  18. Sorry Leanne to hear of Option A, but Plan B sounds pretty good! Congrats on Cheer Chick Charlie coming through in the end. Will look out for it xx

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  19. I am sad for you that the publisher did not happen but I truly do believe that things end up for the best (even if a different best than we thought) in the end and getting your books everywhere in time for all the gift giving to girls may just get it in the hands of yet another amazing contact who WILL be the right one for you xxx

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  20. Sorry to hear your news Leanne but I think you are doing great in moving forward with your Plan B - when your books are a success at Christmas and beyond big name publishers, plural, may just come knocking. Whatever happens you'll have climbed your own mountain.

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    1. I hope so Kathy! Mountains can be exhausting

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  21. I'm sorry to hear things didn't go to plan Leanne. It's horrible when what seems like 'everything falling into place' doesn't end up working out. I am always quick to get excited and quick to crash when things don't work out. However, as many have already said, you sound like you have hit the ground running with plan b. I'm sure your 'everything falling into place' will be much better than plan a.

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    1. Crashing is right ... I certainly crashed. But hey, we all fall down. I'm lucky that I didn't stay down for too long

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  22. Sorry to hear what you were hoping didn't transpire, but as one door closes and another opens! Option B sounds awesome and no doubt will be exactly what is right for you.

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    1. Thanks Stephanie! Yep ... I am lucky to have that other door

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  23. Hang in there, Leanne.

    Your Plan B sounds as good as Plan A and who knows where it will lead you? To bigger, better and brighter things.

    SSG xxx

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    1. Bigger, better and brighter! Yep. Thanks SSG

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  24. I can imagine how disappointed you must have been, I would have felt the same, particularly after such positive feedback. I do believe most things happen for a reason though, and it sounds like you have something really exciting in your future!

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