Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Day 2120 - Facebook Cleansing

Do you ever feel the need to cleanse your Facebook friends?



For a while now I've been thinking I should do a bit of a Facebook friend stock-take.

Not in a "I don't like you anymore" kind of way (although that may well be true at times), but more of a "I don't know you very well" sort of fashion.

My personal Facebook page is kind of like a second home. I'm letting people look inside my windows and while my Facebook list if full of amazing people, they're not necessarily people I know well enough to have camp permanently outside my home.

I have many Facebook pages. My own private Facebook page plus around ten others that I manage: Business, blog, projects and groups.

Some of the people on my personal Facebook page are those who have tiptoed across from my other pages.

Time to cleanse.

Some have been part of my life at some point but we no longer cross paths.

Time to cleanse. 

Others are kids who I may have coached and are now grown up teens with lives of their own.

Time to cleanse. 

Others might be the friend of a friend who I met at a party once and with our beer goggles on proclaimed we'd be besties for ever.

Time to cleanse. 

Others may be people who seemed like a good idea at the time but then showed their true intentions and those intentions don't necessarily mesh well with mine.

Time to cleanse. 

I like to think of myself as a people person. I don't mind sharing the love.  But sometimes I get an alert on my phone that suggests I wish my Facebook friend a happy birthday and I think to myself "who the hell is that"?

Time to cleanse. 

So yeah, I'm thinking it's time for a stock-take.  Especially since my family photos and important events are subject to the eyes, the scrutiny and the possible judgement of others.

It's probably hard to believe this but as a blogger there are parts of myself that I prefer to keep out of  the eyes of public scrutiny.

Time to cleanse. 

So what would a Facebook cleanse look like?

I guess the first thing for me is to have a clear idea of what the purpose of my personal Facebook page is.  Then make a decision on the types of friends I'd like to keep in order to fulfill that purpose.

The purpose for me is to share my family photo album, participate in the lives of people I care about, interact with like-minded people, nurture friendships, bridge the gap created by distance and enhance mutually beneficial social networks.

The type of people that might include are:

  • Family
  • Extended family
  • Friends
  • Old school friends
  • People I spend a lot of time with in the current phase of my life
  • People I work closely with and who I enjoy networking with on a regular basis.
The people I am friends with on Facebook are the people who dictate what information, thoughts, photos, news, point of view and mindset goes through my daily feed.  

The people I am friends with have access to my information, thoughts, photos, news, point of view and mindset and can pass judgement accordingly. 

I made a decision that my real life world be filled with supportive, heart-felt, warm, enthusiastic, tolerant and friendly people. 

My Facebook world needs to be a reflection of that support, heart, warmth, enthusiasm, tolerance and friendship.

If it's not, then it's ...

Time to cleanse. 

Have you cleansed?

How is it done without offending anyone?

Is there a right way to unfriend?


38 comments :

  1. I do this often. If the person is no longer or never was really a part of your life, they probably don't even notice. I've never had anyone ask my why I unfriended them but if I did, I'd simply say I'm wanting to keep fb for people who are actually present in my life. That doesn't mean physically- but people who I interact with regularly.

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    1. I've never done it before. New territory for me. I think "present" is a good guide ...

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  2. I don't have very many FB friends - I worked on the theory I didn't need to be friends with everyone I knew - even so, I still have more than I like, because when someone I know asks to be my friend, I feel I might hurt their feelings if I ignore. However, I went to a police talk and they said you should do this regularly...

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  3. I did have a friend announce she was culling to under 300 and it wasn't that she didn't like you but the exchanges had ceased. I was in awe you could just announce this. She had no fall out from it at all....

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    1. I did wonder if I should announce it to make people of what I'm doing and why ... yeah, I wondered if that was the right etiquette or not.

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  4. I do this fairly regularly. It's probably about time for another round! Just hit unfriend and don't think about it again. They won't get a notification abs if they're really someone you don't have much to do with they'll never notice. If they do notice it probably means they've been stalking you and you did the right thing by unfriending them! #TeamIBOT

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  5. if they are not special in your life, they probably won't notice until year or so later when they are bored and looking for stuff to do. I think I might cleanse too.

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  6. Leanne, I love this post. I know what you mean about getting messages notifying you of a "stranger's" birthday…very strange indeed. I have a personal page but never use it. Good luck with the cleanse - it sounds like you're approaching it in the right way. (stopping by with #IBOT)

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    1. Yeah, I figure if I feel weird wishing them a happy birthday then they shouldn't be on my page. I can't bring myself to dump them on their birthdays though. LOL.

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  7. I have never cleansed my facebook! And I have to admit, I do sometimes have those "who the hell is that" moments.

    But, I do have a lot of people listed as "acquaintances" rather than friends, and some people (though very few) as "restricted". And I do make use of other friend "groups" too, to limit who sees a post, although I am sure not as effectively as I could.

    However, I have been unfriended by a few people. Well, only 2 that I can think of, that I noticed (eventually), but I bet there are others who also thought "who the hell is that?' when they saw my name. It doesn't bother me generally. i figure they've moved on, and good luck to them.

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    1. Maybe I should go in and give people "titles" then .... that might help ... I got dumped once. I was intrigued by it ... and there was a WTF moment ... but then I moved on. I guess I don't want to give anyone a reason to say WTF about something I've done! I'm a chicken like that ....

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  8. I'm in a similar dilemma at the moment. My personal FB page friends are my Mum, sisters, cousins, aunts, friends, old work colleagues etc. I don't post there much at all. Recently I've received quite a few friend requests from people I've met online through my photography studies and through blogging and I feel a bit embarassed because my personal page is so boring and to be honest I don't feel free to be myself there with all those relatives looking closely at what I do and say! I'm considering creating a new FB page for my photography and blogging friends where I can be more freely myself. In the meantime, there are a few people I need to unfriend from my personal page. I'm just going to unfriend them - I don't think they'll even notice! ;-)

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    1. It's tricky navigating this new age social setting that's for sure. I wonder if there's a book of Facebook etiquette out there anywhere?

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  9. I know lots of people who regularly do this. I've also had people unfriend me and haven't even noticed for ages. It's fine. After all, we're adults not teenagers. Cleanse away.

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  10. Quite seriously, there are many people in my personal Facebook space that I don't even know! I have an appalling memory and while I added them in good faith, over time I am not entirely sure who the hell some of them are?! Is it just me who experiences this?!!

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    1. I know!! LOL. I'm the same. I'm sure their names meant something to me at the time ... but now ... not a clue ...

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  11. I did a cleanse a few years back and tried to get 100 friends or under. Since then it's grown again, but I don't really use my personal Facebook page any more, so even though there are a number of randoms, I'm not worried about cleansing it.

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    1. It's the family photos that I share that I worry about. Strangers watching what we do with our weekends. I like sharing that stuff with my family and long distance friends. But strangers ....

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  12. I tend to only friend people who I would stop and chat to in the street about my family and personal stuff. They probably wont even notice when you unfriend them.

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    1. That's true Malinda. I'm probably overthinking it ...

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  13. I haven't unfriended for a while, it's probably time I did. Although I have 'unfollowed' friends that I was sick of seeing posts from, and although I don't post on facebook all that often I have been known to limit posts to groups of family and close friends only, using the privacy options.

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    1. There are definitely people I "hide" from my feed because I can't cope with their constant whining and negativity.

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  14. I used to FB cleanse all the time, now I am merely selective who I allow into that space i the first place. One is not necessarily better than the other, just what seems to be working for me right now. I think you need to clean out social media once in a while, just like kitchen cupboards ;)

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    1. Kitchen cupboards! Yes ... something else I need to cleanse ...

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  15. I always walk in with great plans to cleanse and then unfriend about two people. I like what you said here though: The people I am friends with on Facebook are the people who dictate what information, thoughts, photos, news, point of view and mindset goes through my daily feed.
    That's something to keep in mind.

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    1. I wrote this page a few days ago now and I still haven't done it. Not sure why I'm so hesitant ...

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  16. I have done the opposite - I have extended my facebook friendship group. Most people I befriend have lots of mutual friends, which is a good sign. I guess I am generally a little cautious of what I share on FB, and though I mention my kids on my personal page, I am mindful about how I represent them.

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  17. I keep my personal FB pretty selective and actually aren't very active on it compared to the blog one so I always get surprised if I actually get a new friend on there. good tips though

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    1. I just love the photo album aspect of my personal page (and those of my friends). Watching families as they grow. I guess that's why I love my personal page so much ...

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  18. I've tried a few times and they end up adding me back and I'm too nice to decline so I accept! Haha! I have a few people I would like to unfriend due to the current awkward state of our friendship but I feel like it would be opening a can of worms ... I think it depends on the nature of your friendships whether it will become a 'thing' or not! I had someone unfriend me recently that hurt but I didn't ask her why because I decided I didn't want to know.

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    1. LOL! They add you back ...
      I hear you regarding the can of worms. There's a can of worms I'm not sure I want to open right now. But then again, if it is a can of worms ... is that a true friend in any case? Which has me thinking, time to cleanse ...

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  19. I usually don't unfriend anyone, although I do have a long list of people I just haven't accepted requests from. My personal FB account I usually restrict to just immediate friends and family, although a few bloggy friends who I haven't met in person, but now count as new friends do make the cut also.

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    1. Yeah, that's been my methodology. But I seem to have far to many acquaintances who I no longer "know". I really must cleanse.

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