I had a big weekend of sorts. It shouldn't have been overly taxing physically, but it was another one of those events I coordinated that finally came to fruition leaving me drained and in pain come Monday.
I project managed a visit from two international coaches to the ACT and then coordinated their attendance at all the cheerleading programs that come under the ACT Regional Cheerleading banner.
The weekend included ten different athlete workshops, a coaching workshop and the credentialing of over thirty coaches.
I didn't do any of the coaching or the credentialing. I didn't even book their travel. My job was just to get the program together, welcome our guests, work out the money and just make sure everyone was where they were supposed to be and at the right time.
Not overly taxing. Something that I can do on my ear. But with a dramatic change in weather, a lack of sleep and other fibromyalgia triggers, I have found myself in complete body shutdown as a result.
I feel like I have jet lag with a car accident thrown in.
The fibromyalgia pain is shooting up and down my back, into my arms, down to my legs, through my hands and in my cheeks.
I have brain fog and am finding it hard to string these sentences together.
I feel dehydrated, fatigued, cranky and flat.
I was feeling like that for much of the weekend but instead of backing away, I pushed through. It's easy to push through when you've got an audience. Not so easy when it's all over and you're left to your own devices again.
That's what fibromyalgia does. It grabs you and throws you around and then puts a big weight on you so it's hard to move. And then you schedule a day or two off to get through it and life is good again. Or life isn't as good as you hoped but you just adjust your approach to make the best of how you feel and continue to push through.
So I guess I'm wondering, is it worth it?
Is it worth doing these projects when afterwards I'm a shattered mess?
Tell me, do you push through or back away?
At what point should we throw in the towel?
Apologies for a defeated sounding post. The sun is yet to rise, everything hurts and I feel old and defeated. I'm sure I'll be back to ageing positively again in a day or two ...