Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Day 2364 - Travelling without the kids

My mummy heart hurts ...


Tell me, do you ever travel without your children?

The hubster and I often have to travel alone but we're safe in the knowledge that the kids have their other parent with them.

In more recent years we've wandered off together as a couple leaving our babies with their very competent and enthusiastic grandparents.

But that doesn't change the fact that my heart hurts when we leave them behind.



It's not just because they're missing out. Nor is it necessarily because we feel guilty.  It's not even really about them being so far away in the event of an emergency at their end. For me as the mum it is very much about the fear of us never returning.

I cannot fathom the thought of my kids being orphaned.

I don't get nervous when we're all travelling together.  Well, not so much,  It's the separation of both parents from the kids that does my heart in.

Right now I am on my way to Aruba with the Hubster who has done very clever sales exec things which has awarded him this big adventure.  My kids are at home with my mum who is the next best thing to having me there.  But my heart ache overrides my excitement right now.

Tell me, do you ever travel without your kids?

Do you get nervous leaving them behind?

What makes your mummy heart hurt?


Stay tuned for some travel posts from the Caribbean.

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14 comments :

  1. I've only done it twice in 16 years! I struggle a bit but usually once I'm there, I remember how much I relish just being a couple. (and the ease of zipping around town without the herding cattle vibe). Enjoy. I can't wait to see the pics!!

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    1. As I type this comment from Miami (for a two day layover before Aruba) the concerns are definitely less now. LOL. i have a view of palm trees and a lagoon bar. That helps! I think it's just that "walking away" bit at the start of a trip that hurts the most.

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  2. I have to admit that I actually love being away from the kids sometimes. Being an introvert, I sometimes badly need some alone time to recharge and my family is awesome with my kids so I know they are safe and happy. Not that I swan off on little holidays every month or anything. My last few days alone without the kids was over a year ago. But still, it is wonderful when I can get it. For me, my mummy heart takes a bruising when I think of my kids starting school and being hurt by people and events when I'm not there to stop it or teach about it. Soon my kids' lives will be shaped by many more influences than mine, and that hurts. I'm sure I'll get used to it but I hope and wish that they will have far more good moments than bad.

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    1. Ah yes. I remember that dread as well. My kids are now 16 and 11, so we've gotten through that largely. Having said that they are both at new schools this year so a lot of work went into getting new systems in place to ensure that we as parents are still as involved as possible in their education and that "influence" you talk about. You're obviously a great mum as you have it on your radar.

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  3. I worry when I'm away because I'm a carer for my husband & the sole income earner - what would happen without me?

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    1. I actually did not know that Vanessa. Yes, I can imagine that adds a whole other dimension. That's more than just a concern, it's a big reality.

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  4. At the moment Miss 19 is overseas and yes, my mummy heart hurts! I miss her so much!

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    1. Oh Janet. I know that this will be coming up for me sooner rather than later too and my heart already hurts! They're more than just daughters - they're best friends and the thought of losing both is just too much to bear. I feel your pain! Yay for Miss 19 though. What a great opportunity for her.

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  5. Hope you have a wonderful trip (sounds fantastic). We've only travelled away from the kids shorter distances (less than 200km) so I've never had that sense of being away and things happening. The reality is something could happen wherever you are - hubby is a firefighter and something could happen as part of his job. The only thing we can really do is not to worry.

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  6. We've never travelled far without the kids, and I'm not sure if I could for all those reasons.

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  7. We have only travelled away from our kids OS for 5 nights and one other time we went to the hotel where we went for our honeymoon for a weekend. Both times my parents had our kids. There have been times in school holidays when I was working that they went to my parents but they are at most 90mins away from us.

    Before we left the country to go to Fiji I made my hubby sign a document giving guardianship to my parents of our children should anything happen and I wouldn't go until that was done. I also then made sure my parents and at least 3 of my friends knew where that document was!

    What makes my heart ache most second to dying is that the invisible illness of mental illness that I am living with is hurting my kids! I try so hard to protect them from all of it and how I am feeling/coping but sometimes it just isn't possible.

    Have a great trip!

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  8. We've been away from our kids a few times at Problogger and we've always been too busy to worry too much about them - does that make us bad parents???

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  9. I think that even though we worrry it is paramount to keep the loving and caring relationship between their parents at the forefront. Enjoy your time together. We can spend too much time on the kids perse and one day, as we well know, they grow up, find their two feet as people and if they choose to enter relationships do so. We love our kids (and they've got their own kids too now) but we are relishing our time now. It's taken over 40 years to get this. Have fun in the sun Leanne. Denyse

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  10. I feel exactly the same when both of us are away from our daughter. Its the fear that she will be left without both of us that I can't cope with. I don't worry about anything happening when we're together, it's only when we're separated. I don't think it'll ever change though, well maybe not until she's grown up and moved out of home. #teamIBOT

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