Pain changes things. It's tough to be in good spirits when you're hurting.
I know my blog is about ageing positively and it's usually all sunshine and roses, but behind every smile there's a whole world of other stuff going on.
Now, before I get into this post I just want to say I'm OK. I'm not in the dumps nor am I at the end of my tether. Not quite yet.
I'm just in pain.
It radiates up and down my back, along my spine, out into my arms, right down to my fingers, across my shoulders, up into my neck and if it's a bad week it will transfer to my head and I'll be down for the count with migraine.
It's nothing new. Well, it's newish in the scheme of life I suppose. I've written about my fibromyalgia pain before. It's just getting more constant and a little harder to manage.
I've never taken painkillers to manage the body pain before, but now I am. Usually the pain killers only come out when the migraine hits, but Nurofen is getting a run on a daily basis right now.
That right there is not good.
That right there means a trip to the doctor to work out how I am going to manage this bloody thing.
I understand chronic pain. I got my first migraine when I was in single digits and have battled them my whole life. There was a point where my migraines would last three or for weeks. I was living on prescription drugs and was at the end of my tether but I managed to get control of it 15 years ago through diet, mindset and lifestyle changes.
Chronic pain changes the way you function. You become less tolerant, easily fatigued, less inclined to want to venture outside, less talkative, more withdrawn and there's a constant resting bitch face.
It sucks that chronic pain has returned to my life. It may be in a different form but it's still pain.
Perhaps it's just my cross to bear.
I will get on top of it again. That I am sure. I will not let this beat me. I will not stop smiling.
This post is just a reminder that behind every smile there's a whole world of other stuff going on. Everybody has their challenges, you just don't always see them.
As we approach September and R U OK day, let's start smiling at people and asking the question early.
Your smile could change somebody's day.
R U OK?