Not because that was the look I was going for, but because it's just the way my genetics made me. I would eat an entire batch of chocolate chip pancakes in one sitting and not gain a gram. Afternoon tea would consist of an entire loaf of bread and honey, or a full box of salt and vinegar chips, or perhaps I'd make myself a batch of rice pudding meant for a family of four.
I'd fill myself with carbs because that's what my body was craving, yet I stayed stick thin.
Now for all of you who are about to start hating on me, it's OK. That food caught up with me and I finally grew a woman's body in my 20s. At the age of 28 in the lead up to my wedding I even joined Weight Watchers to lose the extra kilos I'd gained since ordering my wedding dress.
The reality is that people did "hate on me" because of my weight (or lack thereof).
People assumed I starved myself. They called me names like "skinny Mick the race horse" or "Twiggy" or "skinny streak of pelican shit".
Being skinny is a dream for many people. So referencing someone's slim body in a negative way may not seem like body shaming to those delivering the message.
But as a skinny teen with no boobs or butt it still felt like body shaming to me. It made me feel ashamed of who I was.
The worst comment came not from my peers but from a friend's mother who said "you need to eat girl, you're ugly skinny".
Those words have reverberated through my brain my entire life.
Ugly skinny, ugly skinny, ugly skinny ...
Could you imagine if that term was used by a parent to reference someone who was carrying weight? That they used "ugly" next to the F Word?
That parent would be hammered. The world would be appalled.
The reality is that sizeism is more than fatism. Sizeism is fatism, skinnyism. shortism and tallism.
My husband has experienced it too. His has been a double barrel shot at both his super skinny teen physique and the fact that he's 6 foot 5. The word "freak" was bandied around a bit and until he started hanging out with other super tall guys on the basketball court he admitted to actually feeling like a freak.
The best thing that ever happened to him was that he found people he could talk eye to eye with. People who didn't judge him by his size, but embraced it.
As you know my daughter is a model. We've encouraged and supported her dreams because it allows her to be proud of her 6 foot height and has meant she can embrace her current lack of curves.
Of course she is the victim of sizeism. She is constantly being told to "eat a burger". She is judged by her appearance when people assume she doesn't eat.
People who don't know her refer to her as "up herself" or "a tart" or "a bitch" because people with her dimensions must be all those things. Those that take the time to meet her marvel that she is down to Earth, shy and just plain nice.
As I watch my son get taller and skinnier, I see he is starting to lose a little bit of confidence. I see it on the soccer field, I see it with his mates, I see it on PE days when he has to get dressed in front of his peers. As his mates start to bulk up in their journey to manhood he's feeling "less than" because of his size.
If you wouldn't say "Holy crap, you're so freaking fat!" then don't say "Holy crap, you're so freaking skinny!" either.
Let's stop referencing size.
We understand racism and sexism and their implications, so have a think about sizeism too.
Sizeism isn't just about the F Word.
Have you experienced sizeism?
What's your take on body shaming?
Ever been the target of a body "shamer"?