Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Day 23

A few months ago my boot camp group did a pole dancing class to work on our upper body strength. I loved it! It was so much fun. Pole dancing for exercise purposes is fabulous! So as part of my 40th birthday celebration my girlfriends and I all had a pole dancing class which I invited my mum and 10 year old daughter to. Um, big mistake. Pole dancing for exercise purposes is not the least bit sexy, but pole dancing for party purposes is taking it up a few notches and into the world of strip clubs. Shit. It is a wonder child welfare weren’t called. Well, it wasn’t that bad. We all kept our clothes on, and we kept the gyrating to a minimum, but it wasn’t really appropriate for a child. She was awesome at it though. Man that girl can spin. Anyway, it was still a great time so I signed up for a 6 week term of pole dancing classes (purely for strength and toning purposes of course).

When you watch the pole dancing experts – there is a You Tube video of the USA Pole Dancing Championships for example – it is so wonderfully elegant, and majestic, and sensual, and inspiring. When you front up to a pole with no dance ability, very little athletic ability and with a few too many years notched on your chastity belt, pole dancing is just plain disastrous. I seriously thought my two previous pole dancing experiences would make me an expert and I would pick it up easily. I mean seriously, how hard could it be? It is the most unglamorous, uncoordinated, clumsy experience for a novice. And it hurts!! Every week we come out with bruises on our legs and upper foot area, and our arms feel 2 feet longer than when we started. Even my very fit friend who is an iron woman and triathlete has difficulty staying on the pole and has impinged a couple of rib joints where they meet the spine as a result. Given I suffer from vertigo it really was a poor choice of sport because there are times when I am sitting on the floor with my head between my knees praying to pass out and end my internal ride on the cha cha. I don’t know how the ballerina inside the jewellery box does it to be honest. And oh the spectacle when you watch yourself in the ceiling to floor mirrors! It’s hideous!

A few weeks ago I was ready to install a pole at home. Today I pulled some muscle in my upper arm/shoulder region. A muscle I didn’t know I had before this started. Forget it. Unless something magical happens and I suddenly become as nimble, acrobatic and talented as Pink, today was my last lesson. I am done with pole dancing for good! At least I can check it off my bucket list ….

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