Friday, October 30, 2009

Day 26

Today we are going to talk about cheese. Not “who cut the cheese” or “say cheese” or “wow these blog posts are cheesy”, but plain old every day eating variety cheese.

Cheese almost did my head in this week. Mice love it, kids actually eat it, a toasted sandwich doesn’t work without it, and burgers and pizzas the world over rely on it. Cheese.

What is cheese? Well, apparently it is proteins and fat made from milk. Why do we love it so much? I guess because it’s proteins and fat made from milk. Why do we rely on it so much? Yep, you guessed it, because it’s proteins and fat made from milk.

Yesterday morning I got out my trusty cheese slicer and sliced exactly 8 slices of cheese. I then wrapped up the block in plastic wrap, complete with a rubber band (I hate it when it is left uncovered and gets those hard corners), and put it back in the fridge and came back to only 7 slices of cheese. I NEED 8 slices. Two for Tahlia’s sandwich, 2 for Darby’s sandwich, and 4 for Derek’s sandwiches. So I went back to the fridge and sliced another slice. I wrapped it all up and put it back in the fridge. I then went to answer the phone. I came back and I was again one slice short. You have got to be kidding me! “Who keeps stealing my cheese?” The kids stare at me blankly “not us”. Derek is no where in sight. Bloody hell. So back to the fridge, unwrap the cheese and slice another one. I finish making the lunches and pack it all back up to put in the fridge. Done. As Derek grabs his lunch he says “any Saladas today?” So I get out the crispbread and again I get out the cheese. Slice up exactly 4 slices, wrap it all back up and put it away. Hmmm. Saladas. Sounds good. I might have that for breakfast. So I get the cheese back out again, cut myself 4 slices, wrap it up and put it back in the fridge. I set up my cheese and my crisp breads on a plate, then go to boil the jug. Oops, side-tracked, got to write a note for Tahlia to take to school explaining her absence the other day. I yell goodbye to my husband as he leaves the house. I make the bed. Oh yeah, breakfast. I go back to make my cuppa and to eat my crispbread and cheese. Only 2 slices. What the?!?! “Kids, which one of you is eating the cheese?” Blank faces. “Mum, we’re not eating cheese”. So I go BACK to the fridge unwrap what is left of the cheese and slice another 2 slices. As I am doing this I ring my husband on his mobile. “Do you keep stealing my freaking cheese?” “Since when is it your freaking cheese?” “Since I am the one trying to bloody make the lunches, your morning tea and my breakfast!!! Stop stealing the cheese!” “Geez, it’s just cheese”.

Which brings me to today with very little cheese. I get it out and very carefully slice it as thin as possible. I have the sandwiches lined up. I have it all mapped out. In walks Derek and grabs two slices of cheese and jams them in his mouth.

This is not just about cheese. This is far greater than cheese! Steam comes out of my ears. I totally lose the plot. My head has officially caved. He’s looking at me with fear. I can’t speak. He grabs his keys and bolts.

This could well be a metaphor for life! One step forwards two steps back. Always having to backtrack. You map out your day in order to make measurable progress in reasonable time and gremlins invade to interrupt a perfectly good system. I know how much cheese I need to make the lunches. Budgeting the cheese isn’t over-doing it is it? Am I a cheese Nazi? No. I am simply rationing the cheese. But then someone comes along and steals the cheese! This seriously impedes progress!

But you can’t let it ruin your day. Life does not revolve around cheese. My day continues nicely, I even get to the supermarket to buy cheese. I pick up lots of things to make our weekend complete, and yep, you guessed it, I get sidetrack and come home without the freakin’ cheese.

Nice deep breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. Find a happy place. Visualise. Stay calm.

I come home to a sheepish husband and smiling kids … and an ENORMOUS block of cheese.

You see, even when it’s not about the cheese, it actually ends up being about the cheese.

Proteins and fat made from milk ….

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