Monday, November 9, 2009

Day 36

I have one word for you – pasties!

I have a friend who was having body image issues so to combat them she dived in the deep end and took up burlesque dancing. Burlesque dancing! That’s a pretty deep dive. After a few months worth of training it was time for the concert. So in support of my friend I bought a ticket and very tentatively joined the 200 plus audience to watch her take her gear off. What is burlesque anyway? According to Wikipedia burlesque is “is a humorous theatrical entertainment involving parody in which striptease is the chief attraction.” Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

The show was absolutely sensational. There were around 20 performers who ranged in age and size. Every single one of them looked sensational, sexy and completely tasteful in their various state of undress. It was an absolute celebration of the female body. What I most noticed was that these women had the biggest undies in the world covered in feathers and flowers, along with the most wonderful corsets and bras. What really struck me about it all was how nasty modern underwear looks in comparison! What have we done? We have reduced our underpants to the size of a post-it note leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. And the g-string can only look good on buns of steal, on a normal butt it just looks like string cutting through jelly. I have spent the last 10 years avoiding big undies in an effort to stay young, but what is wrong with enormous knickers? These ladies ranged in size from petite and slim to tall and voluptuous and the one constant was that big full briefs looked absolutely fabulous and incredibly sexy on all of them! Deep fried fruit in big girls undies!! That’s the way of the future …

Now, about those pasties. Each time the girls turned their backs to us and unhooked their bras I would take a deep breath and peak through my fingers as they spun back towards us praying their double sided tape was working. I am pleased to say there were no Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunctions. Their pasties would be firmly in place despite the rate in which their breasts were bouncing. How they swing those tassels is a mystery to me but it worked every time. So am I going to take up burlesque dancing during my year of deep fried fruit? No. But I did buy some pasties to try at home. I figured if these ladies could do it for 200 spectators surely I could do it for one …

Does it hurt when you rip them off?

No comments :

Post a Comment

I love hearing your thoughts! Keep them rolling in :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...