Thursday, November 26, 2009

Day 53

Yesterday I had the WORST migraine I have had in years and I hardly moved from my bed all day. My blog post for yesterday was pre-written for a "just in case I am unable to type" scenario. It was so bad I thought I was having a brain bleed. It also felt like my neck was broken. Now, I'm not sure if it really is the worst migraine I've had in years or whether my resilience is slipping. When I was working for the Government I would go to work rain, hail or migraine. I would pop pain killers all day just to keep the pain at bay and I'd continue through until I was able to collapse into bed at night. There were times back then when I would have migraines that lasted three weeks and I would dull them with drugs just to survive. By the end I would be in such a bad way I'd end up in hospital for morphine injections. But that was then and since then I have managed to get a handle on my headaches and can avoid them for the most part. But it begs the question, now that I don't get so many does that mean when I do get them I am less resilient to the pain?

I started getting migraines when I was a pre-pubescent kid. It is a hereditary thing with my Dad getting migraine and his mother getting migraine. The migraines back then were classic migraine with the beating drum in the brain, the light sensitivity, the visual aura, nausea and vomiting, tingling tongue and although they were extreme they would be over within 24 hours. As I grew into my 20s the headaches started to change to a more chronic pain. One neurologist referred to them as cluster headaches. They displayed constant pain usually behind one eye or the other, with pain also at the base of the skull and into the neck. These were the ones that would last for days or even weeks. These were the ones that I can now identify as food/chemical induced headaches. I discovered I was sensitive to MSG, salicilates and amines. For the most part I have them under control. There is also the stress induced migraine and the hormonal migraine. For the stress headaches I prevent them by trying to stay stress free and by getting massages once a fortnight. There is not much you can do about the hormonal migraine though, other than somehow avoid being hormonal! Yesterday's episode was hormonal and given it was so bad I wonder if I am perhaps peri-menopausal. Menopause! That's a deep fried fruit conversation for another day.

Anyway, yesterday I was laid up and that has put me behind. We all feel like there are times where we take one step forward and two steps back. Today I know I have taken 3 steps back with absolutely no forward movement at all. I awoke this morning with my post-migraine hangover and the lethargy of drug residue to a house that has been hit by the kid bomb and my in-box that exceeds the storage capacity of my computer. I look like I have done ten rounds with Mike Tyson. My eyes are so puffy they are hardly open with the lids folding over my lashes like a canopy. To Derek's credit the kids have been fed and the kitchen is spotless. Good husband. I am sluggishly cleaning up the house so that I can feel comfortable enough to work in my home office. I have publishers to contact, a speech outline to prepare, references to track down, cheerleading to prepare for and laundry to wash.

My gratitude for today is that I only had one day of this. I don't have cancer or limbs missing or seizures or disability or third degree burns or a degenerative disease. I had one day of migraine. One day of pain. One day of pause. I can make measurable progress in reasonable time any day I choose. And I choose today ...

1 comment :

  1. Well done Leanne, I admire your perserverance and patience. I hope you recover swiftly.


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