Thursday, December 3, 2009

Day 60

I need a new place to hide. Does anyone have any suggestions? As you all know the bath has always been my sacred place. That is where I go to be alone. Saturday night in particular is absolute bliss for me as Derek usually cooks and I take a book and champagne in to the spa for some peace and quiet. But as you have heard previously it just isn’t working anymore. I need a new sacred space! Take last Saturday for example. It was the first Saturday in a few weeks that we were home and I was able to escape to the bathroom. So I got my brand new Marian Keyes novel out, lit a few candles and grabbed a glass of bubbles. I slid quietly into the bath and turned on the jets. I opened my book to page 1. Door opens.

“What are you doing Mummy?”

“I’m having a bath”

Ok. Bye Mummy”

“Bye Darby”

Page 1, paragraph 1. Door opens.

“Hello Wife”

“Hello Husband”

“Just coming in for a perv

Ok Husband”. Door closes

Page 1, paragraph 1. Door opens

“Hey Mum, where’s the dog food?”

“If it’s not in the cupboard Tahlia then maybe it is still in the car from when I did the groceries today.” Door closes.

Page 1, paragraph 1. Silence. Ahhhh. Short lived. Door opens.

“Just coming in for another perv”. Hairy eye ball stare at husband. Door closes.

Page 1, paragraph 2. Making progress. Door opens.

“Mummy, where is the dog food?”

“I’ve just suggested to Tahlia that it may still be in the car. It might not have got unpacked from the shopping today.”

“Oh, ok. Bye Mum.” He is so polite and by saying goodbye every time he exits shows he actually has good intentions I suppose.

“Bye Darby.” Door closes.

Page 1, paragraph 2. Door opens.

“Hey Mum, I can make my eyebrows wiggle!”

“You are very talented Darby.” Door closes.

Phone is ringing. I listen for footsteps. Bingo. Here they come. How fascinating!! I give up. Bath over. I give in to the world and exit utopia.

I need a new place to hide. Does anyone have any suggestions?

PS I asked Derek to put a lock on the bathroom door to allow for privacy. He said (and I quote) "I'll put a lock on there when you are old and saggy and not worth looking at". Apparently the day I find a lock in place I shouldn't take it as a compliment ...

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