Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Day 66

My kids go to a Catholic school. I am Catholic and had a Catholic education. It’s not that we are part of the God squad (not that there’s anything wrong with that). We appreciate the Catholic school system and the values framework. Derek is not Catholic (not religious at all in fact – almost anti-religion) but agreed to the kids going through their Catholic rituals simply to honour my family history and because he too agrees with the framework. I am probably classed as spiritual, and while I appreciate what religion has to offer, I am not religious. I believe that there is an energy force at work – some call it the universe, others God, others may even call it aliens.

The fact that the kids go to Catholic school gives us some interesting conversations. They often talk about God and I will smile, agree and turn their discussion into one about Mother Nature or universal forces so that Derek can join in. I figure God is just a word to explain something greater than us. It’s just a name. So we honour the philosophies in different ways for a more rounded cultural experience.

By far the funniest conversation so far was had the other night. Derek came home from work after a particularly challenging day where the company went through structural changes and everybody is on tender hooks regarding their longevity. We had this discussion at dinner where we all sit as a family to talk about our day. At the critical moments where he needed to drop the occasional F bomb he did so in a lower almost inaudible whispered tone. Much like when you are referencing someone in a manner that may not be socially accepted. “You know that so and so is a [slut]”. “Apparently blah blah said that so and so was a [flaming fag]”. “Have you heard the latest about blah blah? He was caught with a [prostitute]." "Have you seen how much [celulite] so and so has on her legs!" The conspiratorial whisper ...

Well that is how Derek handled his need to swear while the kids were around. Unfortunately the kids can lip read at 2 paces and can understand whisper, so it didn’t work. Darby said “Daddy!!!” And Daddy apologised and the conversation continued.

But then out of the blue Darby said “Mummy, who invented the bad words?”

“Interesting question Darby, I don’t know mate”.

“Mummy, I think it was Jesus”. We all sniggered.

“You think Jesus made up the swear words?”

“Jesus made everything Mum so I think he made the swear words too”. Hmmm. Interesting. “Mum and sometimes you say Jesus at the same time you say the swear word so that must mean he was the one that made it.” Shit! Not only do I take the Lords name in vein I mix it with verbal bombs making it double blasphemy. And since when do I swear in front of the kids? Bugger.

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