Thursday, January 28, 2010

Day 116

I opened my little book this morning (refer to Day 115) and today I am supposed to do a cartwheel across the dance floor in a night club.

As I sit here sipping out of my carefully hand crafted 'we'll always have Santa Fe' mug (thank you my friend) I contemplate night clubs, cartwheels and dancing. After careful consideration I give that a big no for today. I am not going to go nightclubbing and cartwheeling and ruin all that wonderful work the chiropractor did yesterday. Besides, I think I may have done that one. Last year as cheer coach I entered the end of year cheerleading concert doing a cartwheel across the dance floor. Does that count? It was night, there was a cartwheel and a dance floor. Check. But that doesn't mean I can't have my own little dance-athon here at home today. Dancing seems like a great idea! There are days I am truly dancing up a storm on the inside so why not get my disco pants on and give it a whirl around the lounge room. I could get the old ABBA CD out and really rock the house ...

Nah. There are days when I am dancing on the inside but today just isn't one of them. That is why I am sipping out of "we'll always have Santa Fe". That mug only comes out when I am needing some comfort. My soul sista made it for me as a reminder of our time together in (you guessed it), Santa Fe. I was over in New Mexico for work and she flew across from Pennsylvania to meet me. In the 20 years of our friendship we had never actually been alone. Every single time we met/meet there is family involved, whether it be parents, siblings, friends or now with our husbands and children. Santa Fe was the only time we ever had any quality and quantity time alone. Thus the mug. Thus the comfort.

So why do I need comfort today? Got a case of the doldrums. I have ignored what "the book" had to say about "productive and non-productive worry" and started to worry anyways. Stupid book. I can't quite pinpoint why but I think it may have something to do with school holidays coming to an end, me needing to get some extra work (and fast), not being published yet (my patient persistence is dwindling), money problems, and the fact that I have run out of green tea and had to drink standard English Breakfast this morning. Oh, and Mum retires tomorrow which is not only doing her head in, but kinda affecting me too because that again signals life is moving along at a crazy rate. How selfish of me to try and steal her doldrums! Here you go Mum, you can have those ones back ...

I have no clue as to why I am feeling like shit. I should be on cloud 9! My back has been cracked back into whack thus my friendship with my spinal column has been renewed, I have no need for a merkin, Mum's retirement brings with it a permanent baby sitter, I have this beautiful mug I am drinking out of bringing with it all the memories of a solid friendship, we've had an awesome summer trotting between home and the coast (despite the wind and resulting projectiles, it was fabulous), my beard is neatly trimmed and my neck furrows are starting to disappear as my hair grows long enough to cover them. Life is good! Oh, and yesterday I took the "real age" challenge and discovered that although my chronological age is 40 my real age is actually only 38! Woooo Hooooo. So why do I feel like I have lost my best friend? And why am I writing a Deep Fried Fruit blog when I'm not actually 40 for another two years?

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