Monday, February 22, 2010

Day 141

Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, poop. That is the swear sequence of choice Mum used as I was growing up. I always thought it was quite a lady-like option until many years later I discovered what bugger actually means. Having that many buggers in a row I guess poop would be the logical next step. I'm not sure why Mum chose that exact sequence, but I doubt she really thought about the true meaning of it all. More than likely it was a nice musical sort of verbal frustration release that has been passed on from generation to generation. If you ignore the literal meaning, bugger is such a great word. It's almost posh when you hear an Englishman say it. Like when Hugh Grant says it in "Four Weddings and a Funeral", it sounds positively regal. I love the word! I use it often. And today I am using it the way Mum does in a kind of sing-song manner - 6 buggers then a poop. (And poop is a quick word ... not drawn out like in the USA to poooooooop ... it is not pronounced poo with a P on the end ... it is a nice quick "poop".)

Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, poop!!!! Why? Because today is Monday. And what does Monday bring? Well yes, the kids go back to school and hubby goes back to work and I get my weekly routine sorted in regards to clients, writing, following up with publishers, house work, groceries, exercise AND cheerleading. Monday is cheerleading day. It is the day that I dedicate to all things cheerful ... updating the website, mixing music, communicating with parents, videoing myself to teach on line, face-to-face teaching at the end of the day AND creating the choreography. That is why I am swearing. The creating of the routines keeps me awake at night. I am not a dance teacher. We have 2 months before our first competition and I have only got about 1/8 of each of the 3 poms routine worked out. Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, poop!

Hey, I wonder if I could create a dance sequence with that beat. Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, poop! Yes! Excellent. It is only 7 counts though. I would need to add a pause on the end. Something I have learned in the last 12 months of cheer is that all dance is constructed to 8 counts. I used to be able to count forever, but now I can't count past 8. Interesting phenomenom. I am a counter. I count when I walk up stairs, I count my steps when I walk or jog. I count as I cut cheese slices. I count. Dad counts too. One day when I was about 15 we were walking through Sydney both deep in thought when Dad said to me "what number are you up to?" and I answered "64". It seemed natural enough - doesn't everyone count? Well now I find as I am doing hill sprints at boot camp and chanting "I'm so grateful I've got legs" I can only count to 8 and then I start back to 1 again. Bloody cheerleading ....

But I digress. Today is the day I need to finish all the choreography for the three routines. Until I do I won't sleep properly. Today is the day I search the net, watch Bring It On movies, watch Ellen dancing on You Tube, and get out the old jazzercise videos for choreography inspiration. Today is the day I have to step up and BE the cheer coach. We all know I have no background in dance, gymnastics and cheerleading, so what I lack in actual experience I will have to make up for in determination, commitment and the plain old fashioned ability to bullshit.

So off I go - bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, poop, pause.

Right arm point in half V (left hand on hip, right hip jutted out), and down into half K (hip jut to opposite side), back to half V, snap (standing to cheer attention, arms by side), left arm point to half V, down to half K, back to half V and snap. Got it! That is now going to be known as the bugger poop! Oh wait ... they're kids ... let's call it the BP snap (the big point snap).

Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, poop, snap.


  1. Wow, that sounds like a busy day! Good luck with the choreography. I was a cheerleader many (many) years ago and was always in awe of the choreographers. I can learn routines no problem, but coming up with them is absolutely not my forte!

  2. You're a cheerleader?! Where do you live??? Help!!!

  3. Wow! You are busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, crap.

    Good luck with the choreograpy. The only dance move I know is the side step! bahah!


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