Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Day 150

I have been issued with a request! To divulge the contents of my handbag.
Oh dear …. Really? You want me to empty it out for the world to see? Well, I wish I was a little more prepared because my handbag of the season is bottomless and I may actually have a circus living in there. It’s a lucky dip every time I put my hand in. Ok, here goes …. I’ll try not to kill the clowns in the process …

Bright Pink Sunglasses case hand picked for me by Darby for Christmas – it's empty though - where are my sunglasses?

A Smiggle dog shaped stapler which belongs to Darby. I am supposed to be buying staples for it (it’s in there as a reminder) but it doesn't take the standard size. Bloody Smiggle ...

A note from an education consultant outlining the questions I should ask Darby’s teacher to get a gage for what we need to do to help his reading. That reminds me, I have an appointment with his teacher this morning ...

Bandaid: for the young, the young at heart, the clumsy and the waiver-esque (and for those idiots who insist on wearing new stilettos to a day long event without wearing them in first)

Dettol Antiseptic Cream: Mummy’s special magic cream that complements the aforementioned Bandaid and cures all things that sting, burn or ache (also good for possum bites and trapeze chaffing)

Sunglasses: Oh there they are! Boring old Le Specs (le tough – they need to be if they are going to be cruising around without their protective cover)

Car keys with beaded dangle hand made by the kids: Holds only one key - to my prize possession – my very practical and oh so adventurous Kia Grande Carnival. It is the best car in the world with 8 seats, seriously huge cargo space, lots of little compartments that open and shut, USB port, reverse camera, DVD player with 6 sets of wireless headphones for a really quiet trip, and the best part (wait for it) – 11 cup holders!!

Remote control: A remote control? Oh … um … that must be the one to the car DVD player. Been looking for that.

2 hair pins: essential hand bag paraphernalia even if you don’t have long hair – they can be used for fastening chip packets, holding your belt dangle bit in place, closing a gap in your top if your boobies are too exposed, cleaning your ears (the looped end), breaking into someone’s house, popping black heads (again the loop end) and yes, actually holding back your hair.

An enormously overstuffed wallet that is bursting and fraying.

My drivers license which took an eternity to get renewed (refer to Day 15) but gee it’s a great photo (why isn’t that in my wallet?)

My Visa Gold Credit Card (again, why isn’t that in my wallet?)

A slightly bruised apple to give the illusion I am health conscious and fruit friendly

Some stray business cards: My cheerleading business card, my success training business card, my author business card, a chiropractors card (I should make an appointment), and the card for flying trapeze (I told you there was a circus in my hand bag ... and that is why I need the chiro appointment ... my trapeze muscles are screaming and throbbing ... I felt like I've been hit by a truck).

A weird plastic flower which may or may not squirt out water (another indication of circus like behaviour)

Neurofen Plus ibuprofen and codeine tablets to remedy my migraines and any pain I get from continual waiver-esque type activities. Might pop a couple now ...

A round mesh tea infuser which I bought from this awesome tea house the other day and have obviously forgotten to “unpack”. Hmmm. Great idea. Let's put the kettle on ...

Some handy little toast spreads such as jam, marmalade, honey, vegemite and peanut butter which I seem to recall Derek stealing from McDonalds a few weeks back in case we might need them one day.

Three pens – two advertising Derek’s place of business and one advertising the Government Department I used to work for. They all work! They're keepers ...

A note showing my recent teacher’s aide timetable for the day.

A receipt from this week’s grocery shopping expedition to Woolies.

3 multi vitamin tablets in a little zip log baggy thingo to help with those days I am feeling fatigued and less than vibrant. Might pop one of those too ...

A Models Prefer “vintage rouge” lip gloss given to me as part of a set by Tahlia for Christmas.

Two AA rechargeable batteries for my camera which were thrown in my bag last weekend as insurance for videoing my trapeze experience. Did I ever load the trapeze video for you? Will do that this morning ... feel free to go back to Day 148 to check it out ...

My Nokia N Series mobile phone which I haven’t yet read the manual for so only use about 1/20 of the capacity. I do know how to answer it now though which is a good thing (refer to Day 41). AND I actually wrote my Day 147 post via my phone. You see, not such a techno-phobe after all!

The black case for my Nokia N Series which would be better off actually on the phone I suppose. That and my sunglasses?! There is a pattern forming here …

The case for my reading glasses. Before you ask, no, my glasses are not inside and just to disprove the pattern theory it is because they are currently on my face.

A “cheesy dipper” to help fill a hole in the belly of my continually hungry six year old son.

Two stray cashew nuts which have probably been floating around my bag for a month or so now given the last time I took cashews on an outing we were on school holidays.

And last, but definitely not least a stray tampon for any unexpected deep fried monthly visitors.

There you have it folks! The hand bag contents of Deep Fried Fruit. Aren’t you glad you asked? How on Earth does everything fit in there?!
I'm off to clean it out.

1 comment :

  1. Man how do you fit all that in there??? Tidier than what I have in mine as little as I have too!!!


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