Monday, March 15, 2010

Day 162

Is it ok that my 6 year old son has a shoe fettish? I love shoes. Of course I do ... I'm a lady (sometimes). Shoes go with the gig. But is it bad that it has rubbed off on my testosterone filled offspring?

I haven't always had a shoe fettish. I used to buy my one pair of standard black shoes for winter and same for summer. My approach to shoes was quite sensible. But then as I discovered colour and affordable choices I expanded my wardrobe to include teal, pink, red, beige, brown, cream, orange, yellow ... and everything in between. I have a lovely little shoe collection and am proud of is growth.

My daughter is more like the original Leanne. She is happy with one pair of boots in winter, a good pair of sneakers, one pair of summer shoes and some thongs. That makes life very easy for all concerned. And being the fashion extraordinaire that she is, she is able to make her limited shoe range work with every outfit imaginable ... she is very clever.

Darby is not so satisfied with small choices. He would spend all his pocket money on shoes if he could. He came home yestereday with an "as new" pair of soccer boots from the Trash and Treasures markets even though he does not play footy and doesn't plan to start. It was just important to have the shoes for those days he might go in the backyard and kick a ball about. Of course mate. That's important. It doesn't matter that he already has a pair in the cupboard. You see, they are black with blue trim, whereas these are black with white trim. Ohhhhhh I seeeeeeee. That makes sense. I am pleased he only spent $5 on the new purchase or I may have worried he was frivolous ....

The penny dropped that my boy had a shoe fettish when he was only 18 months old. The moment he could walk he was putting shoes on his feet regardless of whose shoes they were. His favourite were my high heels which gave his Dad some head scratching moments. The shoes combined with always wanting to wear Tahlia's fairy tutu had Derek and I a little befuddled. We had the "what if our son ends up gay" talk very early on ... coming to the conclusion that we would be ok with it .... now that we'd had plenty of warning and all.

Darby progressed from wearing my shoes to then always wanting to wear his great big Daddy's size 13 basketball boots. (Phew ... quick brow wipe.) So it was then that we started buying him his own manly shoe stash. It started with a pair of Air Jordan basketball boots and then went to Andrew Gaze basketball boots, back to Air Jordan, back to Andrew Gaze (as he grows out of one we buy the other not wanting to favour American basketball greats over our own Aussie champions). In addition to basketball boots he also has sneakers, school shoes, thongs, and crocs, happy shoes and footy boots. And let's not forget the source of my Christmas anxieties - Heelys. But what has become apparent to me is the constant need for more. Whenever we go shopping he has to go to the shoe aisles. He stares longingly at the Dunlop volleys, and the skateboard shoes, as well as thongs in a different colour and fluffy slippers. I explain that he already has sneakers and skateboard looking shoes and that you only need one pair of thongs. But that concept is foreign to him. His brain simply says "must have shoes".

As I try to wage war on the instant gratification of generation Y by instilling patience and control in my generation Z I bang my head against the metaphorical brick wall as Darby's shoe fettish has me perfecting the art of the nice deep breath.

Has my own love of shoes by-passed by daughter and landed squarely in the chest of my 6 year old son? And by trying to restrict his addiction am I turning him into a "Law and Order" character who murders women and hacks off their feet for their shoes? Shit. This parenting is too hard.

Anyway, time for me to get ready for my day. Autumn is here so it's time to get out the long black boots ... with the pointy toes, stilletto heel and silver stud thingos down the side (as opposed to my long black plain boots with flat heel and rounded toe ... as opposed to my short black boots with flat heel and rounded toe ... as opposed to my black shoes with flat heel and rounded toe ... as opposed to ....)


  1. If a shoe fetish is his worst personality trait, I'd say you have a great kid there!

  2. PS - check this out:

  3. Too funny! Darby sounds awesome and creative. By choosing to allow him to follow his passion, he might just be the next Milano Blanik or Jimmy Choo...imagine all the gorgeous shoes you'll have then!! You and Derek should be commended as parents for allowing Darby to feel comfortable liking what ever it is he is interested in (i say it's only when we parents try to stifle our children and make them feel humiliated for their passions that things turn serial killerish). Plus, my son had his Dad and I having the same conversation when he kept dressing up in beads and handbags at daycare! He is now a handsome, talented, girl-crazy teenage musician(the girls love his sensitivity) and he still likes a man necklance and a backpack (my only concern is this could lead to a man bag, hee hee)


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