Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 164

I slept in! It is 7.00am and I awoke with a start after a night full of shocking dreams. I dreamt that my kids were out riding their bikes at dawn while I was sleeping and I awoke to a phone call from a friend a few suburbs away who was wondering why my kids were ringing her door bell for a play date at that time of the day. So I have awoken feeling a bit flustered and in urgent need of another (more calm) sleep. It may have something to do with my day yesterday. More specifically the poor attempt at cutting my sons hair. I am surprised child services weren't knocking on the door wondering what all the fuss was about.

Let me explain. Darby has a lovely head of blonde hair. He won't keep it unfortunately because I was blonde too as a kid but got gradually darker with age (and intelligence). Darby is showing signs of getting darker. He is very particular about his hair, some months wanting it long, others wanting it short, others wanting surfer hair and yet others wanting a rats tail (which I refuse to allow). In between we are always using gels and sprays for spikes, sharks fins, mo-hawks and the messy look. He has been sporting something that looks scarily like a mullet of late so yesterday I kindly suggested he might like a shorter hair cut for a while so that we could spike it easier. Oh, why was Darby home yesterday? I gave him a rest and relaxation day. Tahlia is at school camp this week and Darbs has been a bit out of sorts and starting to complain of headaches etc so I gave him a day at home with me to just chill. Back to the haircut ....

I am new at the hair clippers because we've only ever had girls so I have never had to do a buzz cut here at home. I bought a set a few years ago when it became apparent that Darby was going to need very regular haircuts. The first hair cut I gave him was when he was only two. What a disaster. I didn't understand the numbers of the little plastic clipper guard thingos and was looking at the length of the prongs for indication rather than the depth of the clipper. Yeah, poor kid. He got a number two and was shaved within a millimetre of his life. He looked like a thug. He never wanted me to touch him with the clippers again. I wonder why? So we've been see-sawing between paying for hairdressers and getting his big sister to cut it for him (she did a hair apprenticeship).

Back to yesterday. It was time for another go at the clippers. So Mummy got out the number 5 thingimo and started to buzz. It wasn't cutting very well and Darby was yelling that it was hurting really bad. Really? Hmph. Maybe his hair was already at number 5 length. Maybe that was why it wasn't working out too well. Let's go for number 4. I started again. Still only cutting tiny bits off and Darby is still screaming. I am not feeling very sympathetic suggesting to him that millions of kids get this done all over the world, and yes it obviously pulls a bit, but suck it up mate and be strong. As the howling got worse (I checked for blood in case I was scalping him) and as I got more frustrated at not being able to do something as simple as a clipper cut, I decided to give us both a break. I went straight to You Tube to get a lesson on the clippers.

After watching the video and nodding throughout as I recognised the same technique I had been using we went back to the den of horror. Darby was tentative but brave. I was tentative but brave. I decided perhaps I hadn't been oiling the clippers like I was supposed to so gave that a bit of a burst first. Perhaps the clippers were stiff and pulling at Darby's hair because they were dry. Ok. Then I saw it. It was like this arm thing ... a clip of sorts that you can turn full circle. And that's when it occurred to me! I had been trying to cut Darby's hair with the clippers on lock. No wonder they were hurting him. I had their jaw locked into place and I was dragging it through his hair like little tweezers. Oh my goodness ... I had given him the Epilady treatment across his darling 6 year old head!!! Once I actually unlocked the bloody thing it even sounded different ... it had beenquietly spluttering into action before, but now it was sounding like the buzz saw on You Tube. Phew!!! Relief for all concerned. Darby got the wonderfully sculptured hair cut he deserved and I got the knowledge that I could actually do this Betty Home-maker stuff occasionally.

Because my memory is like a sieve I wrote a note to myself and stuck it inside the container holding the torture device. "Remember to unlock the bloody clippers before you start cutting!!!"

Roger that ....

1 comment :

  1. Eeeek! I used to do lovely husbands (until he made the move to shave the whole head every morning....) and I can recall the brave anticipation! Glad you got it sorted eventually......


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