Monday, April 19, 2010

Day 197

I absolutely bawled my eyes out last night. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until I was all snuffly and gave myself a sinus headache. Why?

Well it wasn't because of the torrential rain which has been pelting down overnight. Noosa has been very kind and while it feels the need to rain bucket loads of an evening, it has been keeping the daylight hours sunny and with minimal cloud with only the occasional sprinkle of rain which has meant we've managed to get our bathers out.

And it wasn't the 200+ steps we have had to climb down and then up again each time we want to go to the beach or to the shops making my knee(s) scream in pain. It is very frustrating because if I had knees in good working condition I would be taking the stairs with gusto and would even be challenged by them enough to run up and down, but the downward movement is still too much for my left knee which means my right knee is taking the brunt of the trip and it is now throbbing almost as much as the left one. But that is not why I was crying.

It wasn't because of any husband/wife altercation because we are doing well in that regard.

It wasn't because of finances because although we are skimping quite a bit on this trip we aren't starving (the lobster tray was fabulous last night), we are able to have a few drinks AND we even did some shopping at the Noosa Harbour Markets yesterday where I came home with not one, but two pairs of beautiful new "clacky mules" (shoes). Yes, there is a reason young Darby Doo has a shoe fetish ... he follows in his Mum's (clearing of throat) footsteps. Nope. No tears due to finances.

Not even tears for lack of Leanne time because I am getting plenty of that each time I sneak off to read my books (yesterday I had an afternoon "sleep" so that I could keep reading).

Nope. None of those things.

So why the tears? The tears that continued for two solid hours were in response to The Biggest Loser Grand Finale. Yep. They were tears of joy and pride and empathy and pride and congratulations and pride. How awesome are those people? Absolutely amazing stuff. I do cry easily when people win stuff because I am just so happy for them. Like, I have been known to cry when someone gets the showcase on Wheel of Fortune, so this crying episode shouldn't come as a shock. But I haven't watched the show at all this year. Not a single episode. And then as I turn on to watch The Good Wife I get the Grand Finale instead and I was instantly hooked - and grabbing for the tissues.

I don't fully understand what it is about weight loss and exercise and health that causes me so much pride, but whatever it is, it comes out big time with The Biggest Loser. They are all so inspirational and clever. If I am feeling tired or broken or at my Witt's end during exercise I often think of their bravery and strength and that keeps me going. I mean, if they can cart their big bodies about dragging tyres or running marathons or jumping out of helicopters, then surely I can run up a small hill.

I may even be able to get up and down 200+ steps with a bung knee without creating too much of a scene.

Ok, that's enough rambling today. I need to take some Panadol for this Snuffluffegous headache, and I also have to stare positively at the cloudy sky to manifest some sunshine for today, and then I might go back to bed and give my husband cuddle.


  1. I know what you mean about the biggest loser, I really enjoyed supporting it myself a few seasons ago. Hope your knee is healing and you are saying thankyou for the healing all day. I believe I have healed myself of a number of ailments through this affirmation and belief. I also like Eckhart Tolle's comment "I have lived with many Zen masters, all of them cats. "

  2. You're not alone here. I've had a friend admit he (yes, he) cried his eyes out. I didn't watch it and now I'm feeling like I have missed out.

  3. With hands over ears.....lalallalalala.....I haven't watched the finale yet. I am saving it for later, in peace.

    But I TOTALLY get where you are coming from.


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