Friday, July 16, 2010

Day 284

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
Woman yells out window, PIG!
Man yells out window, BITCH!
Man rounds next curve.
Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.

Thought For the Day:

If men would just listen

I can't take credit for that short story. It was sent to me via email (thanks Alisha). But I can expand on the joys of the non-listening muscle bound sex.

Here is just ONE frustrating ... sorry ... fascinating ... example:

Conversation One (a week ago):

Me: Hey, Derek, we have our cheerleading fun day at the school next Thursday so Tahlia and I will be there all day. I have organised a play date for Darby at a mate's house. Are you able to drop him off and pick him up to/from your way to work?

He: Sure. What time?

Me: They are happy to work around you. So whatever hours you intend on working.

He: Sure. What's Tahlia doing then?

Me: She'll be at the cheerleading camp with me.

He: Sure. How long does it go for?

Me: All day.

He: Ok

Conversation Two (a few days later):

Me: You know the day of the cheer camp next week?

He: What day is that?

Me: Thursday.

He: Oh yeah.

Me: Well, I forgot that Tahlia now needs to be at callisthenics special rehearsal at 4.30pm. I can't leave the camp because it goes until 5.00. I don't suppose you can come and pick Tahlia up and take her to Calo?

He: That should be ok. I'll work from home that arvo anyway. What time do I need to get her?

Me: I guess if you get her by 4.10 you can have her there by 4.30. sound ok? What hours will Darby be at his mate's? I need to tell the Mum.

He: Oh, is Darby going to his mate's?

Me: Yes, and you're taking him.

He: I am? Oh ok,. No worries. What time?

Me: (big sigh) on your way to and from work - whenever that is going to be. You need to tell us that.

He: Ok.

Conversations three and four (a couple of days apart): More of the same. This blog post can't handle the extent of my communication issues with the alpha male. I'll shorten it a bit and get to the point ...

Conversation Five (the morning of):

He: What time is Darby due at his mate's?

Me: (BIG SIGH.) Derek!!! He is due whenever you are due at work. Please tell us that!

He: Let's make it 9.00.

Me: Great (I text the Mum with ETA).

Me again: Don't forget to pick up Tahlia for calo around 4.00 or so.

He: No worries.

Conversation Six (phone call at 3.20pm in the middle of cheer workshop):

Me: Hello?

He: I'm leaving now to get Tahlia. I'm in the car.

Me: Why are you leaving now?

He: Isn't she due at calo at 4.00?

Me: NOOO! She is due at calo at 4.30. No one will be there at 4.00. You don't need to get her until 4.10.

He: (narky). You said 4.00.

Me: (hang up)

Conversation Seven (phone call at 4.00pm while I am in the middle of supporting a stunt - I don't answer it). When stunt is finished I try to return call twice. FFS. No answer. What the?!?

In the world I trust and send Tahlia out to the car park to wait for Dad. She gets to calo on time.

I am relieved to discover on my return home from cheer camp that Darby too is safe and well at home and just where he should be. I am also relieved to hear him retell about his day with mate, so I know that he did actually get there. I don't care about the finer details. He is safe.

Frustrations - sorry - "fascinations" dissolved.

This is only one of the examples from the last week. Only one (sigh). There are so many more. (Big Sigh) I need a new strategy.

Thought For the Day:

If men would just listen

It's Friday! You know what that means. Blog floggin'


  1. I am cringing. Big time.

    I have resorted to using Outlook to "invite" lovely husband to remember his pick ups etc. Ridiculous.

  2. Oh, yeah, right there with ya. I just haven't let my husband have it yet on the blog about it. I tell ya, my greatest wish sometimes is that husbands could learn to problem solve accordingly and, dare I say, thoughtfully??

  3. Ha! That's hysterical. I so hear you. Oh my, I so so so hear you :)

  4. Hilarious and way too familiar. Have had more of those kind of conversations than I care to remember. Now that mine are teenagers I make them go directly to the hubby and make arrangements amongst themselves if need be, and stay right out of it.
    Then it is NEVER my fault when things go wrong.


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