Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Day 358

Am sitting up in bed in a dodgy hotel with Derek on one side of me playing his bum trumpet, and the kids in their bed on the other side giggling about bum trumpets and arguing as to whether or not this hotel is actually dodgy.

Newly renovated the sign said. What was renovated? The TV is the only thing under 50 years old that I can find. Oh, and there appears to be a new light switch. The rest is .... dodgy. And smelly. And dusty. And brown. And old.

But we had no choice. Apparently we arrived in Mildura smack bang in the middle of their annual country music festival and the place is booked out. We are lucky to get a room at all. So it is with gratitude that I should be writing this post. Yeah, I'm grateful ... in a dodgy, smelly, dusty, brown and old sort of way.


Maybe it's just me feeling old and the poor hotel is just an innocent bystander in my foul mood. The dodgy lighting in the place doesn't help. My reflection in the dimly lit brown trimmed room shows backpackers camping under my eyes. Big fat and sloth like backpackers. With rumpled clothes and enormously overfull backpacks. And with country music blaring around the place is it any wonder I've got a "flat tyre, my wife's left me, the beer's stale, and the dog died" kind of mindset right now.

Only one way to fix that! Shoulders back, chest out, stomach in, smile like a Barbie ... grab the hemrhoid cream to chase away the backpackers ... and blast some Black Eyed Peas and dance like Elaine* to chase away those country blues**. Oh, and stick a plug in bugle boy to tone down the ol' BumTrum. That's definitely adding to the dodgy feel of the room ...

* Elaine from Seinfeld dances like she's got remote control legs with dodgy controls. It's fun to copy her.
** Apologies to country music fans. I don't love country music, but I do appreciate it.

I didn't do all those exercises I contemplated yesterday. I did some. 40 of each. I got sidetracked with champagne.

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