Thursday, October 7, 2010

Day 367

These flowers arrived on our door step this morning. The card said "We would like to offer our sincere sympathy. Millie was a dear friend and was fortunate to live in your loving care, kind regards, Lesa and the staff Hall Vet Surgery."

As I was sending out gratitudes and humbles yesterday for the overwhelming support for DFF I was also battling a family "emergency". Millie, the white fluffy (and recently, the pink nude) died yesterday.

You can read about her original illness here and here.

Can you believe that she was really well the entire time we were on holidays. Millie spent time at a semi-rural retreat with Aunty Dee Dee and had the time of her life. Sure, she was little subdued. But she didn't have a single seizure. She didn't seem distressed in any way. She was happy.

We collected her on Tuesday night on the way home and she was pleased to see us. Tahlia tried some "dog clothes" on her that she had bought from "Desperate House Dogs" while in Adelaide. It was all very wonderful.

Then I awoke at 4.00am to her panting and wheezing and scratching about. I jumped out of bed to find her partially paralysed. Her eyes were glazed over. Her tongue was out of her mouth. She was struggling. She was in pain. She was dying.

We all sat with her until the vet opened and we were back on their door step. They tried one last treatment with her before she passed away on her own that afternoon. Millie had left us.

I sobbed. The kids were quiet. They had cried that morning and were prepared. I guess for me the sobbing came from the fact that I had to stay strong for the kids earlier in the day, and the fact that I was worried that Millie would die before Nanna saw her again. I sobbed. And I sobbed. And I sobbed. We brought her body home and buried her. We said our gratitudes and remembered her time with us.

And then it was time to call Nanna.

Nanna was inconsolable. It was the hardest phone call I recall ever having to make. We sobbed together. Nanna screamed. Nanna howled. Nanna kept saying "noooooo". It was hard. I wish I had been with her to hug her, but she lives 2 hours away. I should have made the drive. I was tired. It was all very hard. The phone call was not a good phone call.

I regret not taking Millie to see Nanna more often. I regret not taking more photos. I regret leaving the vets yesterday so that Millie died without us. I regret not cuddling her more. It's so easy to have regrets when death arrives.

But we also have a great deal of gratitude. Gratitude that Millie became Nanna's companion when Pop died. That Millie was sunshine in Nanna's life and gave her complete joy with every visit. That Millie fit in so well with our family. That Millie gave Tahlia a companion and another pet to love. That Millie was, for a short time, a valued and loved member of our family.

Rest in peace Millie.

And Nanna, I am sorry ...


  1. Oh Leanne, I am so sorry. That is so sad. xx

  2. Hi Leanne, I am sorry for your loss, I am aure she is watching over you all now.

  3. I am sorry to hear this Leanne... Hugs for you... this is one reason i fear having pet friends.. it is disheartening

  4. I'm sorry to hear about the death of your pet. They really are a part of the family aren't they? When my KC died two years ago it was the saddest day. Know that your beloved pet is waiting for you somewhere and you will see her again.

  5. Oh Leanne :( I am so sorry for Millies passing :( . ((((hugs)))) to you all and to your wonderful Nana also.

  6. Thank you everyone for your wonderful messages. Pets are interesting aren't they? Not human, but their impact still powerful. The Langdowns are doing well, and Nanna will too, in time.

  7. So so sorry, that I was not around earlier to say sorry, sorry that Millie died and that your Nanna is so distraught. Losing a pet is one of the hardest things in life. In some ways almost harder than losing a human family member. Hugs to you all. xxx


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