Saturday, October 23, 2010

Day 383

After I left you yesterday things got progressively worse.  The ghost of Jim kept bouncing around my gut and the dude on my head just wouldn't bugger off.  While it seemed evident I had a hangover I couldn't understand why it was so severe.  I hadn't drank that much, unless wearing Jim Beam pyjamas really does double the effect.  So anyway, I decided to take drastic action and I took to the effervescence.  When the ghost of Jim turns into a ball in your stomach there is only one thing to do. Burp like a bitch.  So I went to the fridge and took out the black doctor in the red ambulance and chugged that sucker down.  Coke has amazing medicinal qualities.  Then I went to the comfort of my bedroom and burped like the strapping young country lass you all know secretly lives inside me.  It worked a treat.  The ball of gas just took flight and the ghost of Jim went with it.  Hell, I even started burping the alphabet.  It was all very musical and quite delightful if the truth be know.  But then something happened.  Getting Demon Jim out seemed to unleash a new monster.   My final burp brought with it the unthinkable .... the after grog follow through. Yep, I threw up.  Shocking.  Now I really did feel like shit.  And instead of getting better, it got worse.  Luckily I had Mum with me all day who took to the house cleaning and the washing while I wallowed in self pity.  There was a point where Mum and I decided that it wasn't a hangover at all, and that perhaps it was a virus.  You know how when you are hungover, all you want to do is eat? Blotting paper my dad calls it.  Something to soak up the liquid within. Well, I didn't want to eat at all.  The nausea was getting worse and worse and eating was the furthest thing from my mind.  I even went and bought a steak sandwich which is usually a cure all, but nope, I could only manage 3 bites.  Anyway, as I said there was a point where we decided I had a virus. At what point was that? Um, right about the time Mum and I were driving home from having lunch at the school and my nausea hit again. Uncontrollable.  As I was the driver, this wasn't a good thing.  The vomiting began. Violent.  What does someone driving a car do when they start to chunder?  There is nothing you can do.  I threw up all over myself over and over and over again while keeping one eye on the road. It was HORRENDOUS.  I started to cry. I was screaming "help me" and Mum was doing her best to mop as I went.  We pulled over.  I was covered.  And that right there is the point in which we decided this was so much more than a hangover.  It had to be a bigger demon that Jim ...

The rest of the day was spent in bed with a bucket beside me.  And whether he actually caused it or not, Jim Beam is still a bastard ...

PS I am still feeling a bit under the weather.  Jim may well of put that man on my head, and dirty socks in my mouth, but I am really thinking he may not be the TOTAL bastard I thought he was.  We just went up to the shops and I was overcome with waves of nausea again. Plus I feel dizzy and weak. Not even a freshly cooked BBQ chook can shake me from my no-food-funk. I think there is something else lurking in the depths of my being that Jim may well have dislodged during the burping exorcism yesterday. What do you think? 


  1. Oh Leanne,

    I hope you feel better real soon, that sounds like the worst bender ever!!!

  2. oh thats yucky and driving oh so sorry that had to have been the worst of the worst.

  3. I started to heave just thinking of you in the car vomitting....ohhh...and than to have to clean it up...yuck!....I thought I would feel closer to you than the thousands of miles in between us, so I sat down with Jim last night and we shared a few drinks....luckily, I did not have the end result that you did...I hope you are feeling better my friend....

  4. Oh gosh Leanne! total ewwness! You poor thing :( . I hope that today the sun is shining healthy on you my friend xo


I love hearing your thoughts! Keep them rolling in :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...