Friday, November 5, 2010

Day 396

Now that we've been to Nantucket and back with our leaky buckets (yesterday), and I've had my 16 year meet-aversay with my husband (Day 393), and I've finished with the Cheerleading Nationals (Day 392) let's get down to some real Deep Fried Fruit business.

I think I've found a do-dad to iron out my neck canyons!!

For those of you who have been following me for a while you'll know that I have a few Deep Fried Fruitisms that make me squint one eye and purse my lips in school ma'am contemplation.  Since turning a year older a month ago, each of these isms seems to have increased in severity.  Namely the hail damage in my arse and thighs, the wrinkly deflated balloon around my stomach, the muffin top, the tuck shop arms, my pesky chin hair, the backpackers who often take up residence under my eyes, the extra digit I now drag around with me reminding me I'm no longer fabulous 40 but not-so-fabulous 41 AND my neck canyons.  In my deep fried toolbox I have a bulldog clip that I've tried clipping to the back of my neck to pull all the drapes tight, but the pain just doesn't warrant the delightfully firm neck, so I've ditched it and decided to wear scarves all year round instead.

I know, I know, I'm far too vain and far too focussed on the outer.  We know that.  The hail damage, deflated balloon, muffin top, backpackers and arms don't always bother me. And notice I have not once mentioned the crows feet.  All of these things create the road map of life which is me and all can be attributed to love, laughter, reproduction and great worldly experiences.  (And lack of exercise.)  But the whole neck thing has got me in a spin. It's getting cragier and looser, and I've decided it just doesn't look like it should be on my road map. I am thinking someone made a geographical error or the cartographer had one too many drinks.  It's right up there with the chin hair and my body's quest to grow a mane.  I'm a lioness and a Shar-pei all rolled into one.

But before we get too disturbed by all this, I may have found an answer!!! Behold the wonders of Facebook advertising.  As I was cruising around the social network yesterday an advertisement took the breath right out of me (in a good way).   It's called Neck Perfect!! Woot woot.  Now, that's what I'm talking about.

For just 2 minutes a day, and only $25, you can have the perfect neckline.  It tightens and tones your neck, cheeks and chin! Look good, feel good, look young always, results guaranteed!! Alright, alright, I might be a bit emotional right now and all caught up in the advertising, but come on.  It's $25. It couldn't hurt could it? Take a look for yourself. 

I'm not sure what those springs are all about (they could give the bulldog clip a run for its money) but I'm off to get my visa card.  Neck drapery be gone!!

Shall let you know how it goes. Might even do the before and after shots for you ....

Happy Friday (and don't forget to do some blog flogging).


  1. " All of these things create the road map of life which is me and all can be attributed to love, laughter, reproduction and great worldly experiences. " I enjoyed this and loved this quote ...
    You look gorgeous by the way ...!
    The Aussie $ is now above parity
    AUD/USD 1.0148

  2. Okay -so I relate to everything here (oh the chin hairs! What an evil freak of nature they are!)

    Will be watching your neck progress with interest.



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