Saturday, November 13, 2010

Day 404

Welcome spring!!

Yesterday we had our first true blue sky day.  Blue sky and green grass.  They say (and I don't necessarily agree) that blue and green should never be seen without another colour in between.  That's where I come in.  I wore bright pink and white yesterday and will do similar today.  It's heavenly!!! Life is good. No, actually, life is great ...

But as I skip through the flowers with ribbons in my hair, and flying my new blue, green and pink "United States of Leanne" flag, it seems not everyone is skipping.  Really? Why not?

There's a lot of irritable bowel syndrome going around these days.  Everywhere I look people seem to be living with a permanent case of the shits. (And by "the shits" I am using the Aussie terms for angry/cranky.)

Isn't that sad?  I think that is really sad.

I see shitty people in their cars honking about traffic issues that are beyond their control; I see shitty people in the streets bitching about stuff that has nothing to do with them; I watch television commentaries where "comedians" use sarcastic humour to commentate shittily on current events; I read Facebook status' and comments where people blow off steam by smearing their shit all over the "wall" to poison others with their gastro.

Why so much irritable bowel? Is it something that people are eating?  Or is it something that is constantly eating them?

There's a book called "Everybody Poops" that helps to toilet train littlies.  Yes, everybody does poop.  But most people do it in the privacy of their bathrooms.  Or if they have to do it in public and stink up the place it's still done in appropriate pooping venues within a cubical and behind a door.  No need for pooping in public. Or in your car, on in malls, on the street, on TV, or on Facebook, or over the blogosphere.  And definitely no need for it to come out your mouth.

Imagine if people took a leaf out of the 12 step program "... grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ..." Do you think we might then live in a world less shitty?  Is shitiness itself, an addiction?  Hmmm.  Probably more of a habit. Definitely a reflex. Possibly learned.  Perhaps genetic?

I dunno. But it's putting a bit of a dampener on my skipping.  Which in turn is giving me a mild case of IBS myself. So this is where I suggest I get paid for the following promotion:

For all of the people who aren't experiencing a whole lot of joy, I say "take a chill pill!!" The world truly can be wonderful if you let it.  And if you do end up with a case of the irrits then find yourself some privacy, take a deep breath and blow it out your arse.  Stop stinkin up the place for the rest of us ....

[Note to my followers: Of course none of this applies to you.  You're all gloriously fabulous and spirited and strong.] 

I'm off to dress in pink and do some more skipping.


  1. HI Leanne,

    IBS has hit me again with a dose of stress and I know how you feel. The ACT does not seem to agree with me as when I leave my gut says thanks and all is good. Slippery Elm is a good remedy with a bit of mashed banana or grated apple or just with water.

  2. I love this post. I dedicate my whole blog to all things good rather than all things bitchy. I'll leave that for someone else.

    Pooing in private is my speciality :-)


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