Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day 435

So I'm expecting Oprah to turn up on my door step either today or tomorrow.  Since I didn't get tickets to her show, nor was I invited on as a guest, I'm assuming that means she's decided to spring a visit on me instead.  So I'd better do my hair and get some decent clothes on.  

How come no one ever looks completely bedraggled when they get these surprise visits you see on Ellen, Extreme Makeover Home Edition etc?  Why isn't anyone looking all panda eyed and hungover, or wearing their daggy old tracky bums, or going braless or something?  Surely I'm not the only one who has days where my appearance would seriously frighten small children or cause the odd myocardial infarction.  Do these people actually get warning? Or are there times the television crew turn up and have to say "can you, um, go and fix yourself up a bit and we do this whole surprise bit again"?  It's happened to me  you know.  When Darby was born I had a surprise visit from the head of our Government Department and his EA who decided to hand deliver some flowers. I was in stained and saggy track pants that were falling off my hips, tshirt without bra, and my hair hadn't been brushed for three days.  I was in the depths of sleepless nights and continuous breast feeding.  I was literally caught with my pants down ...

So it happens.  Surely it actually happens on the TV shows too. But I plan on being prepared. So I'm off to fix up the grey skunkline in my hair, whack on some foundation and get some appropriate this-is-what-I-always-wear-around-the-house-I-wasn't-expecting-you-at-all clothes that will highlight the colour of my eyes and give the illusion of a tan.  Something that will go well with the Argyle diamond necklace or set of rare pearls she'll be bringing with her.

Then I'd better tidy the house, but when she arrives I'll still go "Oh my goodness, I wasn't expecting guests, the house is a mess!!" thing to cover up the fact that despite cleaning my house never looks picture perfect.

And then I'll put out a pot of green tea, and light a few candles, and have some soft music playing to create the illusion of peace and tranquility in my home office. 

And then I'll cancel all my activities for the next two days and sit and wait.  

What do you think?  Do you think she'll show?

Hmph.  I suppose that is going a bit overboard.  Perhaps I should scrap the candle idea.  She might have a sensitive sense of smell. Don't want to give her a migraine.

But seriously what would you do if Oprah turned up on your doorstep?  Or if you're not into Oprah, what about, say, if the Better Homes and Garden crew arrived to spruce up your yard?  Or even if your boss arrived to surprise you with a holiday bonus or a bunch of flowers or something? Would you be ready for them?

I'm gonna be ready.  And if I don't get a surprise visit then at least I'll feel fabulous as I sit at my computer and work at the Yuk to Kids business proposal.  Yes, I am actually cancelling everything today. Including the gym. But it's not all for Oprah. I need to get the paperwork finished to get this kid safety labeling finalised.  If you haven't given your support/comments for the idea yet please click here to check it out.  I'd love your input ...

PS Tahlia has her candle ceremony today at school. That's where the current year 6 class pass the leadership to the current year 5 class (Tahlia) in readiness for their role as seniors next year. If Oprah turns up at midday we'll just have to take her with us ...


1 comment :

  1. Good luck, I am all for the child safety labelling. Wish Tahlia all the best.


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