Sunday, January 9, 2011

Day 460

Neapolitan ice cream. The perfect example of hedging your bets.  Do I want vanilla, or chocolate or strawberry?  Oh, bugger it, I’ll get the lot.

I don’t like buying Neapolitan. One flavour usually ends up more popular than the rest and you are left with dregs.  What starts out as an exercise in bet hedging ends up as an exercise in offal.

Just buy a flavour and be done with it!  Make a choice and stick with it.  Commit gosh darn it!

As I look in the mirror today this whole Neapolitan debate reminds me of tanning.

I love spray tans because it’s an all over tan.  100% chocolate (or should I say, 100% caramel - being chocolate is only in my dreams.)  No tan lines at all.  Nada.  Zilch. Zip. Zero.  Perfect all over cover.  You choose your flavour and stick to it. 

Right now though I am the semi-proud owner of an actual tan.  A lovely latte flavoured skin tone complete with white froth and marshmallow floaties.  Yep, tan lines.  Here, there and everywhere, there are shades of pink, brown and white.  I even have those hideous quarter moons (or white tan bananas) under my butt cheeks where the sun can’t tan due to bottom droop.  It’s all terribly trailer park.  My husband personally loves tan lines. To him they are the sexiest thing on the planet (tan bananas excluded).  I don’t buy it though.  It’s all a bit too Neapolitan for me. 

What should I do about it? Maybe find a secluded beach where I can whip it all off and try and create one flavour? Maybe.  So if you see an odd pink, white and brown lass on her hands and knees with her arse in the air, don’t panic. It’ll be me trying to do something about my moon(s) ….


  1. You're so funny. And I can't quite get that visual out of my head! xx

  2. LOL me either I can't get it out of my head....

    Keep the tan lines... it pleases The Old Man Indoors hehe.. not sure what a tan banana is though.. it's like we speak different languages at each other sometimes isn't it? hehe


    Gail xx


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