Thursday, February 3, 2011

Day 485

"Stop being a moron and start getting skinny!"

That got your attention.

Who's news resolution AGAIN this year was to lose weight, get fit and feel fabulous? Of course that is mine every year and right now I am failing miserably. [I blame it on the fibromyalgia of course. Oh, and perhaps the champagne.  Champagne is a lovely little beast.]  Anyway, no more failing miserably! I have done something to rectify that (says she very bravely and with great authority).

I went trawling the shelves a few days ago for a quality book on all things food, diet and nutrition.  It was a combination of clients wanting advice on healthy weight loss options, and National Healthy Weight Week, that  had me searching for some guidance. I am not qualified to give my clients nutritional advice, but I can recommend a bit of reading. 

I found plenty of cook books and loads of diet books - the "this" diet, the "that" diet, and the "come and buy me I'm the best" diet - but how do I know which are fact, which are fiction and which are just plain fiddle sticks?  So I looked for something with a bit of a scientific basis. And then I looked for something that would just tell it as it is. And also something that would capture my attention and retain it.

I found it.

Skinny Bitch. LOVE the title. I opened up the first few pages and LOVED the very raw and straight forward approach to weight loss. No holds barred!! Wow. It was boot camp for all things diet.  I am so going to have this as my next Achieve Beyond book review.

"Okay. Use your head. You need to get healthy if you want to get skinny. The first thing you need to do is give up your gross vices. Don't act surprised! You cannot keep eating the same shit and expect to get skinny. Or smoke.  So don't even try some pathetic excuses like "But if I quit smoking I'll gain weight." No one wants to hear it. Cigarettes are for losers. They are so 1989 and totally uncool. Not only do they screw up your whole body chemistry, but they also kill your taste buds. It's no wonder you eat shit and garbage. Smoking's out. Give it up."

That's only the beginning. Wait until they start talking about soda/soft drinks, artificial sweeteners, aspartame (did you know there are aspartame victim support groups?) sugar, dairy and meat. Yikes! And there's a whole chapter on how to have the perfect poo.

"The Atkins diet. Hmm. Eat the flesh of dead cows, dead pigs, and dead chickens. Avoid fresh fruit. You are a total moron if you think the Atkins diet will make you thin. Or, you are a gluttonous pig who wants to believe you can eat cheeseburgers all day long and lose weight. Perhaps you weren't listening the first time. You need to get healthy if you want to get skinny!"

Holy shit.  Can I really review this book?  Good thing I don't smoke and I'm not an Atkins advocate. Wow. It's a bit confronting.  Yes, I can review this book.  Because it's a bit confronting. And funny.  And I have to tell you, after reading only the first chapter ... actually the first few pages ... my body started craving water ... and I had this overwhelming need to crap ... by half way through the book I was craving carrots and not much else.  You see, by the time you get to the end of Skinny Bitch you're a vegan.  That troubled me a little because while I understood the science of that approach, and I whole-heartedly support vegans, I just don't think I'm wanting to become one.  But that's ok. Because the good thing about this book is that you get a whole bunch of scientifically backed up and referenced fact, with a bunch of kick-up-the-arse mind jolting "suggestions" and a bit of rah-rah-I-can-do-this support, and out of all that you can actually make some informed choices as to how you might like to go about your own weight loss journey.  

"You are what you eat.  This statement in all its simplicity is brilliant. You are what you eat. You are a human body comprised of organs, blood and guts, and other shit.  The food you put into your body works its way through your organs and bloodstream and is actually part of who you are.  So every time you put crap in your body, you are crap."

Yes, it's a bit confronting.  But by the time I'd finished reading the book I'd made a decision to look back at my chemical intake and make some firm choices about what I'm shoveling into my mouth and at what quantities. I know that my migraines are largely food based, and it wouldn't surprise me if fibromyalgia is chemical imbalances due to the shit that I pour into my system.  So while I'm not going to follow this book to the letter and get all hairy and dance with trees, nor am I going to panic and fess up to the authorities that I'm poisoning my children, I am going to take some of it on board so that I can get back to be fit and fabulous at *clears throat* 40 (add 1) again ... 

In case your interested they have cook books out too, as well as a website and a book called Skinny Bastard for the bloke in your world.  

And by the way, the above is not my official book review. I'll be doing a proper one over at my day job. 

Want to see how others are doing on their weight loss and fitness journeys? Check out the Fat to Fit blog hop.


  1. I have to go get that book! Sounds like the kick in the arse I need!

  2. Haha, I love it. Off to the library tomorrow to borrow...

  3. So Repeat after me...champagne is not my friend :-)

  4. Ps. I didn't like that book...I felt I was being judged for not being a skinny bitch!

  5. Definitely a kick in the arse kinda book. Which works well for this kick in the arse kinda girl.When she's not too tired to be kicked about.

    Yes Boomerang Jane, it's not for everyone. I actually have said that in my official book review! I thought some people may feel judged by it. The title alone reeks of it ...

  6. Although tough, they do make a lot of common sense. But I need someone to help me address the mental side of weightless. To help me change the negative, defeating beliefs. They certainly aren't from the 'Jerry & Esther Hicks' school of philosophy, lol!


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