Sunday, July 3, 2011

Day 635

Do you think dogs know when they fart?

I mean, do you think they know it's come from them (or that it hasn't come from them even when being blamed)?

I would have thought animals would be in tune with their bodies but after some discussion with Husband about Max-the-hip-gyrating-Lab we're now not so sure. 

You see, sometimes Max let's a loud one fly and he looks behind himself in surprise. Fartus-interruptous. It's almost like he's expecting to find that someone has snuck up behind him and he turns swifly, ready to protect himself.  Other times when it happens he actually goes looking for the source of the noise.  And when he gets a whiff he may even start following the scent to find the culprit.  Of course this leads him to his own bum and then he starts walking in circles.  We've even seen him get completely startled by what must be a very breezy fart.  He'll let off his little bomb and suddenly he'll dart forward with his tail between his legs looking behind in fright like he's just had a puff of wind squirted into his butt hole. An attack of the fart-phantom.

I'm not sure that Max actually knows about farts.  I think our beautiful blonde Labrador may have spent the last 11 years being harrassed by a mysteriously noisy, smelly and very windy ghost. 

So when a revolting and highly embarrassing stench starts floating around the lounge room, and we blame it on the dog (even though it may actually be me) I don't think Max is groaning inwardly at the reference.  I don't think he's in tune with this bodily function at all.  Nor anyone else's for that matter. I think he may be fart-illiterate.  Or perhaps even a fart-a-phobe.  Farteous unawareous. A fart ignorant farty fool.

I went to the Doctor yesterday.  I need to get an MRI done. If that shows up clear then it may be that I have a case of labarynthitis (spelling?) at which point I will need some "ear physio" ?!?! to get on top of the vertigo. We're still investigating...

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