Sunday, January 15, 2012

Day 831

News breaking headline:

Fit and Fabulous 40 year old gets fat and flabby.

Self proclaimed "fit and fabulous 40 year old", aptly nicknamed Deep Fried Fruit, has lost all her fabulousness recently due largely to a phenomenon called summerous holidayous which apparently causes its victims to become lazy alcoholics with a propensity to sleep on beaches and eat large quantities of fatty food with a particular aversion to pizza.

"Deep Fried Fruit" openly admitted that the condition could have been prevented had she taken protective measures, but after too many champagnes at Christmas she became complacent and "simply forgot" to prepare herself properly.  According to her coach, daily exercise and the right diet will get her back to fabulousness, but the road to recovery will not be an easy one and she needs to be prepared for the tough road ahead.  To make a full recovery of summerous holidayous she will need a period of cleansing, deprivation and exercise which could possibly result in symptoms such as nausea, headaches, aches and pain.

The condition is quite contagious, particularly for those living in close proximity to sufferers, and can have life long implications if not handled properly.

"Deep Fried Fruit"agrees that while it is important from a communicable diseases perspective to cure the disease quickly she is not looking forward to the treatment.  She has postponed her start date for another two weeks.


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