Thursday, March 15, 2012

Day 890

I've started back at personal training. As I sit here at dawn the morning after the beating the night before, can I just say it sucks to be me right now.

I have a friend ... let's call her Helen (coz that's her name) ... who recently completed her PT certification.  She's one of these ridiculous triathlete marathon type people who enter themselves in 100km races for fun.  Running 15km at lunch time is a mere stroll and a daily 70km bike ride is par for the course.  She's a twisted torturess who finds pleasure in extreme muscle fatigue and abdominal crunching pain.  For some odd reason I decided to pay her money to train torture me.  What was I thinking? 

Last night I met her at the oval.  You will recall from yesterday's post that I was extremely exhausted.  Not a good start.  By the end I was a mere hallucination of my former self. You could see me ... but I wasn't actually there.  I was shattered and may have actually died at one point coz I swear I was hovering above the ground looking down at myself. 

She had me running forwards and backwards and forwards and backwards in a zig zag pattern across the oval. I was doing squats and lunges and push ups and V sits. Then she bought out this elephant sized rope which I had to pull and lift and slam against the ground for an eternity before throwing myself to the grass for some superman push-up combinations.  As I burst into tears declaring my stomach muscles officially didn't exist and that my arms were made of useless butter she very soothingly told me it was all ok and that it would get easier and that we just had "one more thing" to do. That's when she threw me into one minute rounds of plank then twisting sit-up things.  Both requiring the aforementioned stomach muscles that had packed their bags and wandered off! 

When it was over I laid on the grass with Cinderella's little birdie friends circling my head twittering happy little melodies in true cartoon style.  I may have even levitated ...

There is no way my hair will get done this morning. I can't lift my arms high enough to brush it.  And those stomach muscles that had eluded me yesterday have finally bloody decided to show up! The precocious little bastards. 


  1. My younger brother's girlfriend is one of those 'Helen-types', 100km runs and all that. Lucky she lives on the other side of the city, so I'm not tempted to even think about training with her.

    Good luck!

  2. Well done you. You sound like a warrior yourself. I would of packed up and left with the stomach muscles in the first five minutes. Pat on the back to you. Throw a hat on, no one will even notice the hair ;/)

  3. Ouchy. Well done you. I think I would have just forgotten I had that appointment and just gone to bed.

  4. Ow! It's hard work, this exercising caper, so my regimen is fairly sporadic. Maybe I need to get me one of these twisted tourturess-es? ...or maybe not!! Good luck with it all :)

  5. Good for you! I have issues even with just a night out of dancing - my back! My hips! Getting older sucks.


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