Monday, April 23, 2012

Day 930

Last night I had a dream ... a kinda stressful dream ... and as a result, I may have woken up with an ulcer.

Derek and I were walking across a bridged walk-way above the trees heading to what seemed to be our product launch.  We were dressed up and excited.  We were also carrying a bit of extra weight and my boobs felt enormous.  Along the way people were passing us going the opposite way, and they were smiling and waving and saying "Can't wait for tonight! See you soon."  Who were these people, and why would they be seeing us soon?  They definitely weren't invited to the product launch ... I didn't even know them.  We kept walking, holding hands.  The sun was shining and there was a slight breeze.  We came across someone we knew. She was wearing a blue taffeta dress and she was also looking a bit beefier than normal.  Her boobs were huge.  She was smiling and almost skipping. She told us that the launch was all set to go and that she had announced it at the school so we were sure to get hundreds of people there.  Hundreds of people?  We didn't want hundreds of people.  I could feel vomit rising into my throat.  Shit.  This was an invitation only launch and now we were going to have hundreds of strangers involved.  We smiled at her and thanked her.  Derek in his usual "she'll be right mate" way said that it would all work out.  But I had only done product sample bags for 50 invited guests. We couldn't give our products away to hundreds of people! Suddenly the bridge became metallic see through and my high heels started getting stuck in the grates.  My dress was itchy and hot and my boobs were getting bigger and bigger.  My thighs were rubbing together.  People were still walking past us smiling and waving and telling us they would see us soon.  I needed the toilet. I desperately needed the toilet.  How do I get off this bridge and down to ground level again? 

That's when I woke up and really did get out of bed and go to the toilet.  Which was lucky coz I was at that point in the dream where I was starting to look for a tree to squat behind. I was thinking I was going to wet my pants and ruin my electric blue taffeta frock! I often need to pee in my dreams. I wonder if I didn't wake up (and actually did find a tree in my dream and started to squat) would I wet the bed?  Anyway, I didn't wet the bed.  I went to the toilet and then went back to bed and straight back to sleep.  The dream continued.

We are now in a room full of people. Why is everyone so fat? There were faces I knew and faces I didn't. Everyone looked like they'd been blown up with a bike pump. The ladies all had big boobs and all wore taffeta.  My dress was the one I wore to my year 12 formal only it was bigger and the sleeves weren't quite as puffy.  There were dresses in the crowd that I recognised from my year 12 photos but the people wearing them were different.  Everyone was smiling.  They were all sitting shoulder to shoulder on chairs pressed in tight.  A hundred or more people. Too tight. Everyone was fat and squished together.  We were in a room that was our home only it didn't look like our home. It was an apartment.  When did we buy this house? Everyone was smiling and looking at me with expectation.  I was standing there staring at everyone still holding Derek's hand.  He started to speak to the crowd.  He thanked everyone for being there and introduced me. As he handed me the microphone  I realised that we were too early. This wasn't launch day at all.  Everyone was two weeks early. I had no products to launch! I only had one book and it had dodgy chapter headings, and I had no merchandise. We were supposed to have three books, t-shirts, shorts, wrist bands, post cards.  But all we had was one dodgy unfinished book. Why were we here?  What was I going to talk about?  All these fat people staring at me smiling expectantly waiting to hear what all the fuss was about. 

That's when I woke up.  With an ulcer.

Today is our last day in Noosa.  Time to head to the beach.

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