Thursday, April 26, 2012

Day 933

Photo borrowed from

Something I’ve noticed about myself during this journey into Deep Friednom – I spend much of my life needing to pee.  Nothing could highlight that fact more than this recent drive up and down the east coast of Australia.  Roadside toilets are ridiculously few and far between, and the ones that we do find are very uninviting.  Who needs a personal trainer when you can spend your life giving your quad muscles a work out as you hover above smelly pox infected public toilets?

I noticed that when I am home in everyday-ville I don’t pee quite so frequently, but the constant urge is still there. I just know the toilet is within a 10 second dash if my release valve is about to go off so I hold off for as long as possible because every second is precious in my “taking care of business” mindset. But when you’re on the road with a possible 45 minute wait between toilets, the urge becomes increasingly more powerful.

It starts with a niggle and progresses to a need to go.  Then it becomes a bit more cross-your-legs in urgency.  If the road is the slightest bit bumpy, windy or corrugated then you start to approach the red zone.  Add a sneeze and you’re cactus.  For someone as fit and fabulous as I pretend to be, a roadside squat is not an option.  I need to find a toilet even if it does require hovercraft technology to use it.  Throw in a road sign that gives you the little toilet logo and the dam almost bursts in anticipation.  Please hurry, please hurry, please hurry …

There will no doubt come a time in my out years when my water balloon permanently springs a leak and I’ll be requiring some assistance in the personal hygiene area.  Perhaps I should hire myself a fanny physio now?
For today though I will continue to map out my journey with the nearest toilet(s) in mind, and will be a little more strategic about how many litres of water I drink at our lunch time stops, and  the three cups of green tea at breakfast.    

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