Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Day 1185 - Slow Internet Connection

I am in blogger hell

Image Source
If you want to continue with the fast paced modern wonders of life, then don't piss off the internet gods.  They will make you sweat and swear and they may even encourage you to throw things.  Including your laptop.  They will send you to blogger hell ...

Over the last week I have been setting my alarm for 5.00am every morning.  That's not news I know ... it's my normal MO ... but I'm on freakin' holidays so was hoping for some pillow-soaked-in-drool sleep-in action.

So why this need to seize the day? I've had to get up at sparrows fart because it's the only time I can get any connectivity in this sleepy coastal town. It's the only time I can take care of business, read emails, scan Facebook, blog, read the news and communicate with my friends and colleagues in the USA and China. The infrastructure is not designed for a sudden influx of 20,000 extra internet using peeps into a community that normally only houses around 12,000.  As a result the internet is quite literally sucked dry. It cannot cope.  During the hours of 7.00am and 10.00pm there is basically no internet at all! The internet gods have spoken ...

If this is pissing me off (as a visitor) I can only imagine how frustrating fascinating it is for the locals. Can you imagine sitting in the comfort of your home, minding your own business, going about your normal day, to have a swarm of bikini clad, pontoon driving* outsiders emerge in your space and steal your resources? And what about the businesses who rely on the internet or wireless technology in order to function**? I can imagine that frustration and fascination are not the F words of choice.

So today I apologise to the residents of Bateman's Bay for being one of the bastards who have stolen their connectivity and I beg the Telstra, Optus and Vodaphone gods to take pity on the community and revise their coverage to take into account the popularity of the holiday season.

And I apologise to anyone reading my dodgy emails, blog posts, comments and Facebook statuses. They are written with sleep in my eyes and in a frenzied rush as I race against the clock to get them done before the oddly punctual 7.00am curfew when I am unceremoniously dumped from the webisphere.

Happy Wednesday!

Happy internet (may you be in heaven and not hell)

* Our National Lampoons Summer Vacation has been dented slightly with the demise of our pontoon.You can read about the pontoon here.  Yes, it got a hole in it. No ... it wasn't because of the dubious travel modes required to cart it to the beach. The mesh floor actually ripped away yesterday and the entire thing "popped" as a result.  We're hoping Santa takes returns given we only used it three times ...

** I was in the Rivers store on the weekend and they couldn't process my EFTPOS payment because of their need for wireless connectivity.  It was cash only options.  I would have spent more money had I had the means. While that is good news for our budget, it is definitely bad news for their business. I wonder how many other businesses are suffering?


  1. Nothing is MORE frustrating, than when you expect a service, and it fails you!!!

    BUT, the flip side of course is, to spend more time with the family, facebook will still be there (can catch up later), but yes, frustrating when doing the work stuff... (HANG on, aren't you on holidays?? )

    Enjoy your break!

  2. Oh man I thought I had it bad with Internet at the moment but you win. At least my slow connection works at any time of the day! Hope it speeds up quickly for you

  3. This is my everyday enemy.Really nice post to start blogging. This article is very useful. I saved it into my bookmarks. Thanks For Sharing This Useful Information .Would come back to visit soon, again Thanks.


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