Saturday, May 4, 2013

Day 1308 - Soccer Mum

I have come to the conclusion I'm the world's worst soccer mum.

Image Source
As Darby gets ready for his first game of soccer for 2013, I am finding my inner dialogue has turned into a personal mentoring session about what he needs from me as a soccer mum.

What he DOESN'T need from me is to:

  • turn my back on the game in fear when he is put in the goal
  • scream louder than every other parent as he dribbles the ball up field and yell out "ROBBED" when someone else steals the ball
  • be saying (albeit under my breath) "stop fiddling and fart arsing around Darbs" when he does the tricky juggling moves with his feet that he learned at soccer academy and then cringing when during those moves someone else steals the ball
  • be so fed up with the lack of forward movement in the game (mostly due to their young age) that I take to Twitter, Facebook and email on my phone instead of watching
  • run out onto the field if he falls over to give him a cuddle  
  • coach in any way shape or form and shout out instructions, particularly since I've never watched nor coached a fair dinkum soccer game 
  • shout out "bugger bugger poop" when he misses a goal
  • get really uptight and all red-faced when they are getting hammered by the other team, 
  • and he definitely doesn't need me to rip him out of his friendship team to put him in a team that might actually win (yet)

What he DOES need from me is to:

  • get him there early, in his uniform and with a positive mindset and enthusiasm 
  • have faith in his coach, his team and in the umpires 
  • know that he will get hurt and he will make mistakes (as will everyone involved) and that's OK. It's all part of his growth
  • be all encouraging, happy, enthusiastic, calm and interested. That's it.  Just another person in the crowd watching a game of soccer.  Someone clapping, smiling and happy to be there. 

And finally, what he DOES need from me is someone to pat him on the back when he's done and say "good job mate" and get involved behind the scenes by saying "let's practise together one day this week after school".

Today is the first day of the new soccer season and I will find my inner Posh and get all decked out in trendy soccer mum clothes, wear really dark glasses, take a few chill pills, sit in a fold up chair and smile and clap continually.  If things get a bit too frustrating or scary I'll just close my eyes behind my glasses and count to ten slowly.  Then when it's all over I'll say how proud I am.

Then we'll go home.

An old photo of Posh on Soccer Mom duty
Image Source

1 comment :

  1. Sounds like you have it all under control ... just dont wear any of Posh's other fashion outfits or you might be a bit of a distraction at the game :)


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