Saturday, May 3, 2014

Day 1670 - Recovery

This post comes to you from a chair at my daughter's bedside.
An angel by the bedside - Aunty Kay with flowers from her funeral
I haven't blogged properly for a few days, quite simply because I haven't had the energy nor brain space (nor drive) to do so.  It's been a strange week. Living in this alternate universe has given me a taste for what it's like for others who are challenged by illness - either their own, their child, or someone else they care for.

I reflect right now on my mum, my aunts and my cousins who were by my Aunty Kay's side continually over the last few months of her life. Living it, breathing it, sleeping it.

I reflect right now on my friend who has children with an incurable disease with the constant need for care and medical attention. Living it, breathing it, sleeping it.

I reflect right now on my cousin who has a child which she shares a chronic condition of pain, discomfort and (at times) immobility with continual medication updates and long haul doctors visits. Living it, breathing it, sleeping it.

I reflect on people going through major illness themselves with constant worry, uncertainty, frustration, pain, medicines, doctors, hospitals and sickness.  Living it, breathing it, sleeping it.

As I sleep at the hospital watching my daughter recover ever so slowly from her Nuss Bar procedure (which she/we elected to do to to rectify her pectus excavatum), I reflect on those in similar situations where for them, there was no choice.

Tahlia's recovery is slow. It is painful and she is miserable.  They warned us it would be, but never did I imagine she'd be in this much pain or this immobile.  Unable to eat without nausea.  Unable to sit up without pain and feeling faint.  Unable to stand, nor walk, nor move without assistance. Unable to smile without force because everything just hurts.  Still in a hospital gown because real PJs are just too difficult to wear.  Attached to tubes and machines monitoring her heart, breathing, oxygen, fluids and pain relief.  The surgery was three days ago and we are still here. Both of us together sharing a hospital room without any clue as to what is going on in the outside world.  All we know right now is what we are living minute to minute.  In the alternative universe.  Living it. breathing it, sleeping it.

This is not life threatening.

This was a choice.

This is being done in the relative comfort of a private hospital with a "private" room.

We have so much to be grateful for and so much to reflect on.

For others there is no choice.

Living it ...

Breathing it ...

Sleeping it ... 


  1. Hang in there. I hope she has a swift recovery from here on in, and that the procedure is a success. But yes, a lot of people carry a heavy burden, and a lot of the time without complaint.

  2. Hang in there both of you it feels like forever but everyday brings you one day closer to feeling a bit better. It's been 6 weeks since my major surgery and they have been the longest weeks of my life...filled with the frustration of bring unable to move and do things like 'normal' I am thankful for all the support I was given ... all I can say to you is let your friends and family help because you are there to support Tahlia and she is your focus for now ...and even though it feels like slow motion you are both moving forward. Hugs

  3. My thoughts are with you, not just for your daughter but for those special people in your life who are facing such hard battles, and especially fighting for their life. Been in hospital is very humbling, I found that when H had his kidney operation nearly 2 months ago. Strength to you x

  4. Can't even imagine how hard it must be for you both. Hang in there. Hopefully she will turn the corner soon. Thinking of you both xxxx

  5. Oh my goodness, Leanne. I'm sorry to hear you've been going through so much lately with your loved ones, especially Tahlia. It sounds dreadful. I hope things start to improve for her soon. Sending hugs xo


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