I often encourage my clients to use mindfulness techniques, but I have to admit it doesn't happen naturally for me. I have to work at it.
I wrote a paper on it once.
Rather than make up a bunch of new stuff, I thought I'd just share that paper with you instead.
(Don't say I never give you anything.)
Mindfulness
No “whys” or “hows”
…. Just “nows”.
As I coach people in business, life, study and
relationships, I note that most anxieties relate to the “how” of the future,
and the “why” of the past. People are
stressed about how they are going to pay their bills, how they are going to run
a successful business, how they are going to get to the alter, how they are
going to pass their exam, and much of this is based on why they failed previously.
Focussing on the why
of yesterday, combined with the how
of tomorrow creates absolute fear and a lack of self belief.
It’s time to bypass the fear by being mindful of the
present.
Mindfulness is being aware of and paying attention to the
current moment. Our past is behind us
and our future is not here yet, so what exists now is where our mind must
rest.
Although mindfulness has its origins in Buddhism it is attracting
increasing interest amongst clinical psychologists and psychiatrists as a means
of dealing with anxiety, depression and stress.
It is used in some of the newer psychotherapeutic methods such as
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy.
The goal of mindfulness is to develop a lifestyle of
participation with awareness.
Being mindful can take the form of watching your own
self-commentary as an observer rather than as the individual creating the
self-talk, and therefore being able to remove yourself from the negative
programming. For example, as you sit in
traffic complaining internally about the congestion, the actions of other
drivers and the state of the roads, rather than raising your stress levels you
can observe your self-commentary as a passenger sitting in the next seat and
become mindful of your negative behaviour.
It’s a bit like watching yourself on film. If you knew you were being filmed would you
verbalise your anger for the world to see? Then why put yourself through that
negative emotion?
Mindfulness can take
the form of cleansing your mind of the sea of “to dos” by focussing on the
simplicity of the moment. Living in the
city it is easy to get caught up in the multitude of actions that are needed to
get through a single day. Getting kids to school, driving the car, checking
emails, answering the phone, cooking, washing, getting the car serviced,
packing for that business trip, finishing that project on time, paying the
bills, getting to your daughters dance recital.
If you were to live in a world without computers, phones, televisions,
cars, work commitments and chores, do you think you would suffer the same
stresses? We have created these crazy
hectic lives.
To get back to basics all one needs to do is become mindful
of how simple our lives can be. Climb a hill. Look at the grass, the trees, the
sky, the animals. Become mindful of the moment.
Look at the wonders of nature and the wonders of our existence and be
mindful of that moment. The “to dos”
suddenly become less important and therefore less stressful.
Being mindful can even take the form of cutting through habitual
eating patterns and assist with weight loss.
How many of us eat at our computer, in front of the television, while
reading a report or in the car while racing to the next appointment. We usually eat while focussing on other
tasks. Mindful eating brings the action of eating to the present as a core
focus rather than as a habit. By taking
every meal and every snack out of the side-lines and bringing it to the
absolute here and now, we can make healthy eating more intentional and
participatory. Sit down with your meal
or your snack in silence. Focus on the
food. Look at the texture, the size the
colour. Smell it. Savour the taste. Be mindful
of every mouthful. Food becomes a
different experience when you are mindful of your eating.
Mindfulness is an activity that can be done at any
time. All you are doing is bringing the
mind to focus on what is happening in the present moment, through observation
of your own self-commentary.
By being mindful of the present it is easier to let go of
your past whys, to be less concerned about the hows of tomorrow and to
de-stress your today.
“If you let cloudy
water settle, it will become clear. If you let your upset mind settle, your
course will also become clear.” From Buddha’s Little Instruction Book.
Are you caught up in the "whys" and "hows" of life?
Too focussed on your yesterdays and tomorrows?
Maybe it's time to practise some mindfulness.
Happy Monday!
I like the Cloudy Water settle quote. might use that. Nice paper.
ReplyDeleteJust like Lydia said, that cloudy water is such a good visualisation for this!
ReplyDeleteWatching your own self commentary is so difficult to do though! I'm pretty sure that we all just say things to ourselves without really thinking about it. Or at least I do. Sometimes I catch myself saying to myself things like "well that was stupid" etc. No wonder I'm constantly getting strange looks from people!
ReplyDeleteYes it's definitely time for mindfulness for me! I'm usually too caught up in getting everything done and stressing about the future to concentrate on the here and now.
ReplyDeleteDi from Max The Unicorn
I too wrote a paper on this, mind was part of my social work degree almost 10yrs ago. The Smiling Minds app is a brilliant tool for getting you started on mindfulness meditation.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I really need to practice mindful eating... Oops. Thanks for sharing your paper.
ReplyDeleteI've only been focusing on being more mindful since my grandson was born. He has taught me to just stop, breathe and enjoy the moment. Whether it be looking at spider webs or watching ants scurrying around. When I'm with him I'm not worried about the past or the future I just enjoy the moment and that has been a wonderful lesson for me.
ReplyDeleteSue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
That was a great read, thank you for sharing! I hope that in this first week at home with one less child you are being kind to yourself...xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. On Mon 11 Sept #LifeThisWeek turns one and that is the prompt! Next week: First car/bike.