Thursday, February 14, 2019

Day 3403 - Finding it hard to get back in the swing of things

And so it all starts again.


Running away to the coast over the Christmas holidays meant we could escape reality without as many daily triggers of our new normal.

Of course now that school is back, the soccer season is about to commence, the hubster is back at work and my projects are all waiting for some attention, the new normal can't be ignored.



We're finding it a little tougher than we thought.  There are regular triggers that put a dent in our mojo.

Just as I get some energy to take 2019 by the balls, something will blindside me, sapping my energy and send me back to the couch. You can see by the lack luster way I've been attending to my blog that life isn't quite what it used to be. I guess the truth is it hasn't been for a couple of years. 

I had a great day on Tuesday and powered through projects with much energy and excitement.  Then I got a Facebook notification that Chelsea was interested in an event near me the following day and my entire being was jolted back to the life we now face. A life without her in it.

That led to a sleepless night and kneeling in front of the ol' porcelain bowl the next morning as my body purged my stress distress. 

Anyway, it is what it is and life goes on.  So I'm just grabbing onto the projects I can do easily for the time being and leaving the creative stuff in the corner for now until I can get a handle on who I am and how I can get through.

It's all very odd.  I suppose it's grief and that's what grief does.

What I am enjoying right now is getting back to my volunteer work with the soccer club. I'm enjoying communicating with people, helping with sponsorship, being a sounding board for the new Executive, managing my son's team and generally just trying to add value.

It's times like these I've got to grab the little things to love about life and hold onto them tight.  Do what I can, when I can, without putting too much pressure on myself to be a fully functioning Leanne just yet.

So that's what I'm lovin' about life this week.  Soccer.

What about you?  

What are you lovin'? 

Where are you putting your energies right now?


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11 comments :

  1. Time will not make this better, nothing will. But you will manage better eventually. There's no way to fast track that, nor do you want to (you want to, obviously (because you think you'll feel better and not 'like this'), but it's not good for anyone if you do). So just do what you can and cut yourself slack when you can't. It will be hard not to see everything as pointless. So go thorough the motions when you can and be prepared for the lack of enjoyment in the activities that gave you joy in the past. It's a huge thing and humans are so very fragile. Sending you all much love.

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  2. Hang in there, Leanne. Deep, deep breaths and just one step at a time.

    SSG xxx

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  3. Sending you hugs, Leanne, and wishing you all the support you need to get through the tough moments.

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  4. Sending you cyber hugs and love and good wishes ... it's a very difficult time for you and I can understand that there would be a sense of aimlessness after such a tragic loss. Take time for yourself where you can. Smell the roses. Love Jo x

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  5. I so wanna give you a giant big hug and we could sit and have a good cry together. I get it. I know how it hurts. It's a primal deep pain that you can't explain until you experience it. Keep your load light and just do what feels comfortable. There will be good days and bad days for some time yet. How I wish there was a magic wand sometimes. Take care Leanne. xoxo

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  6. It's unimaginable what you've all gone through - to have lost her and to have to keep doing all the normal stuff - I think you're right to pick the stuff that's easy and just push through until you're stronger again. Look after yourself xx

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  7. Grab every tiny bit of joy you can and I hope each day gets a tiny bit better. Big hugs xxxx

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  8. I can't imagine what you're going through - the old normal is no more and the new normal so far off. Be kind to you...

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  9. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. Thanks for hosting.

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I love hearing your thoughts! Keep them rolling in :)

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